At the Well/Flat Ceiling Prayers

At the well today, Heather at Emotional Purity is hosting a "dry" subject, and she has even given great wisdom on the topic at her blog. I suggest you read what she has to say about spiritual dryness...it is gooooood stuff.

As for me, something specific comes to my mind, and I feel led to share it. 

I remember that moment all too well. The dishes were piled up. The laundry pile was larger than the city landfill, the kids were acting out, and I was depressed. I had truly hit bottom spiritually speaking, and my life reflected it--in my words, in my actions, in everything.

Brian's granddad was living with us at the time, I was homeschooling (part-time) three kids, had an ongoing leadership position at church (which in retrospect I should've given up for a season), Brian's dad ALSO had terminal brain cancer, and I was taking granddad back and forth to see him, and going to see him myself (because he was the only father I ever really had), and etc. It's impossible for me to capture all of the circumstances that led to suffocate the life out of me spiritually, but there I was.

Now let me just say that in my case, I was still in the Word and on my knees, so I wasn't spiritually dry in the sense that I wasn't faithful to seek Him. But I was spiritually dry in the sense that none of it penetrated my heart. My prayers felt empty. The Bible fell flat. I whined and sobbed to the Lord with my whole heart; yet, I felt like I may as well have been talking to the ceiling. I even turned to other things to try to make me feel better--food, entertainment, etc. That just furthered the wedge between the Lord and me, sending me further out into the desert.

I began to withdraw from friends, because I was tired of answering the question: "How are you doing? Do you need anything?" I wanted the phone to stop ringing, I wanted the kids to leave me alone, I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide myself deep under the sheets at the foot of the bed.

But here's what God did to all my flat ceiling prayers: He scraped them off and answered them. Not by changing my circumstances, but by changing my heart, teeny tiny little by little. He began prodding me to be thankful. His challenge came from the words of other people. He caused me to become broken and humble enough to let others in to help. Friends brought us meals, sent cards, prayed for me without my even knowing it, sent emails of encouragement, and on and on.

Before long, I was out of the pit and walking with joy in the valley. Not every second, but most of them. I was still exhausted, weepy and at the end of myself, but I was God-strong. He held me up through the arms of others, and kept me there through the power of His Word. The Lord, my Saviour, my Redeemer pulled me out of the pit by my shirt collar and gave me these verses to hold onto:

Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

If you are there right now--no matter the circumstances--smack dab in the middle of spiritual dry, don't stop crying out to God. Don't stop reaching out to Him. Even if it feels like your cries are falling flat to the floor or sticking to the roof of the ceiling. Even if you're walking around in puddles of tears. Even if you can't walk at all. The enemy wants to get you alone to tempt you, He wants you to withdraw, He wants you to seek other "stuff" to fix you up right, but it will lead to further separation from the Lord, the Only One who can heal what needs fixing. This isn't a formula, it's straight from Truth. Did you read those verses closely?

And it's almost impossible to understand if you're in the pit right now, but those last verses are so, so, so true as well. When the new song comes, filled with praise, many will see it and put their trust in the Lord. I'm a living, breathing witness of this truth.

Let me know your thoughts, and remember to head on over to Heather's for insightful teaching on the subject.

In the Key of HE,