Upon Reflection...For Women to Ponder

It was a transforming day at the gym that day, but it didn’t start out pretty.

Ugh. Why do they have to have mirrors in here? There’s no way I can make it through this. Little Miss Skinny Winny is right in front of me in her ‘lil piece of material disguised as FIT to wear in public! Now I get to stare at BOTH of us in the mirror. YUCK! You’re too out of shape, Laura. It’s disgusting.

Yes, I actually have these thoughts sometimes…and one day in my FLEX aerobics class, they were running rampant through my head. And continuing…I used to be “one of them,” you know. Well, with the exception of the skimpy clothing. But now? Now I am a red-faced, hyperventilating, under-confident, thrumpy, almost-forty something someone.

Obviously my body wasn’t the only thing struggling with a much-needed workout. My spirit was too. Praise the Lord He spoke straight through the booming music and into my heart by the time class ended. He reminded me that, with Him, all things are possible. That nothing is too hard for Him. That He wanted me to persevere and love these people while I’m at it. That He’s more concerned with the state of my heart than the image in the mirror.

My attitude had been placed into submission with my Savior, and it was a good thing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been prepared for what I walked into next. As I entered the ladies’ locker room, I walked straight into an older teenager with a perfect body in her teeny tiny bikini. She smiled at me big and said, “Hi.” I looked straight into her eyes, faked a smile and said “Hi” back. I made my way to my locker and grabbed my things, because I certainly was not changing my clothes in there now.

As I was about to leave, teeny weeny bikini girl’s (let’s call her “TWB Girl” for short.) friend came out of a draped dressing area in absolute distress. “I can’t do this!” she said to TWB Girl.

“You look great, Jody!” TWB Girl said back, “You do, I promise.”

Then the unthinkable. TWB Girl involves ME.

“Ma’am (ugh), tell her how great she looks.”

What I wanted to say is, “What are you two young things doing running around in skimpy bikinis? You need to cover up now, you hear!?! Got a t-shirt in that locker?”

The mommy/discipler in me took over instead. I forced myself not to look down at her body, but straight into her eyes. I thought, okay, if you tell her not to worry about it, she’ll think she looks bad. If I tell her she looks good in it, I’m feeding the wrong part of her.

“Sweetheart, you are so beautiful. Don’t cry, okay? God has made you such a beautiful young lady.” My heart broke in two as I watched Jody go over to the sink, look in the mirror and rinse her tears. I wanted to continue our conversation, clarify a few things about "true beauty," but I felt led to stop. As the two of them left, saying their polite goodbyes, I sat down on the bench and prayed, crying silently in my soul for this girl, for today’s generation, and for the woman in our aerobics class fussing in the mirror over her body just an hour earlier.

Oh wait, that was me!

Are you ever “that me” or “that her” in the mirror?

It may not be your appearance, or your weight, or your age. For some of you, it’s your talent, your spiritual giftedness, your domestic abilities or the lack thereof. Maybe it’s your personality, your spirituality, or some other stark reality.

Why do we do this? Talk down to ourselves, compare ourselves, wish ourselves away?

Blame it on the media, the devil, “the flesh,” the end times, whatever—but what matters most is what God has to say about us. He tells us to think on “what is true,” (Philippians 4:8a) and to “take captive every thought,” making it obedient to Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5b). He is very clear that He is more concerned with what He sees in our hearts than what we look like. (1 Samuel 16:7b)

Here’s Truth:

* You are beautiful to the King. (Psalm 45:11)

* You are His perfect creation. (Psalm 139:13)

* You are radiant when you look to Him. (Psalm 34:5)

* You can live life to the full if you believe what God says. (John 10:10)

* You are dead to the old flesh, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:3)

* You are not to compare yourself to others. (Galatians 6:4)

Ladies, I could go on and on. This is not about whether or not you should lose weight or improve on yourself, or about strongholds or habits you may or may not need to change. I truly believe that if you don’t understand God’s perspective of you and how to think rightly on it, then it will be impossible to change anything about yourself you need to change anyway.

Look to Him today. Seek His face. Dig into His Truth. Pray for change in your thinking about who He made you to be. And I’ll meet you there.

“But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away.

Now the Lord is the Spirit,

and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory,

are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory,

which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:16-18

"All Wired Up" for Women, Part 2

So in "All Wired Up for Women, Part 1," I asked some questions about why some little girls like to play dress-up. Is it that they want to feel like a beautiful princess? We discussed, through the posting and the readers' comments, how we as Christian women are beautiful to the King. But that's not always the reason for dress-up, and for some, they would never even consider such a thing as beauty! So why else?

As I went to tuck my girls in the other evening, I found two pairs of my clothes on the floor--clothes that they sorted through and put on, promising to return them to their rightful place. Earlier, they had dressed up like "moms" and pretended to go shopping. It was really funny to watch, and especially convicting to hear their lingo. (Do I really talk that way? Nah, must be someone else's mom).

I remember the feeling of putting on my aunt's shoes or my older sister's clothes (when she wasn't looking.) I remember being at my friends' houses and putting on way too much makeup in the name of "playing." It was so much fun, and I have no idea what made it so fun for sure.

Yet, here I am today, an older woman, a mature (whatever that means) believer in the Lord, and I still find myself trying to wear others' clothes from time to time. If you are an extremely confident person, never comparing yourself to others, feel free to skip this post, but for the rest of us, whoa, boy, does God need to get our attention on this.

Sisters, God doesn't want us to slip into the trap of wanting or trying to be somebody we're not. It's perfectly healthy to emulate Godly role models or mentors, and it's certainly advisable to strive to be more like Jesus, but that's not what I'm referring to. I'm talking about the icky kind of comparison--comparing the way we're wired or created to that of others.

I wish I could sing like her.
Why does she look ten years younger than me when we're the same age?
I'll never be as good of a mommy as her.
There are so many good writers out there. Maybe I should just give up now.
She decorates, she cooks, she cleans, she's perfect. Then there's me.

Get the point? What's floating in the quote bubble outside your brain? Many messages of God's truth could be applied here, but I'll just land on a few. The first is that this type of comparison boils down to envy and pride. Yuck! Proverbs 14:30 says, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." No wonder she looks ten years younger than me! My bones are rotting more each moment I look at her! ;)

It's great to improve ourselves, to try new things, to do activities outside of our comfort zones, but our motive should always be to do it for the glory of God--NOT out of pride or envy. I absolutely love, Love, LOVE the following verses from Hebrews. I first memorized them from the NIV, so read them there too if you get the chance, but the way The Message translation puts it is like music to my ears:

Hebrews 13:19-21
May God, who puts all things together,
makes all things whole,
Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus,
the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant,
Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd,
up and alive from the dead,
Now put you together,
provide you with everything you need to please Him,
Make us into what gives Him most pleasure,
by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah.
All glory to Jesus forever and always!
Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Wowzer! Oh, yes, I want to be made into what gives HIM the most pleasure, not what will make me feel like a better person or fulfill my petty pride.

Yes, yes, yes, women of God. Let's talk to Him, ask Him what HE has purposed for us, and then let's live the way we're wired to the fullest, all to the glory of our Jesus, forever and always. Amen.

Sisters or Mommies?

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah BLOG

I read a whole blob of blogs the other day from a bunch of different sources, and for the first time in a long time I did what no writer should do. I compared. NOT a good idea. Won't go into the details of how that made me feel, but I know for sure those 'head hung low' thoughts and feelings were not from the Maker of my gifts and talents.

What's the point of keeping a blog anyway? Is there anything new under the sun? You know, not really. BUT, looking at slices of life through the grid of others in the Body of Christ can be like a Progressive Dinner if you allow the Lord to use them. You get your appetizer at this place--your lunch at another--every once in a while someone throws in a  cocktail--then dinner. After dessert at the last stop, you're stuffed!

The Lord reminded me this morning not to compare. Just fill up on Him and serve the food to whomever is hungry to receive it. This is the verse that lifted my chin from my neck in a way that only my Father could do:

I solemnly urge you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus, who will someday judge the living and the dead when he appears to set up His Kingdom: Preach the Word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebukeand encourage your people with good teaching. For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the Truth and chase after myths.

But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.

2 Timothy 4: 1-5 (NLT)

There's another blog for another day: Fully carrying out the ministry God has given me.