Stop, Look & Listen

Actor & Comedian Ray Romano is quoted as saying, “The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.” Too funny and TOO true! As a mother of an eight, ten and thirteen-year-old, I can honestly say that I don’t know what I’m doing a good majority of the time. Some days, the goin’ is pretty good. However, when “those” times come—the ones where behavior problems, entitlement issues and disrespect rise up---then I lean on the wisdom of the great parents I know who have gone before me.

One of the best nuggets of advice I ever received on taming “those” behaviors was several years ago from a mother of five. She suggested starting with three things before trying any kind of punishment: 1. Get eye contact (have them stop what they’re doing and look me in the eye), 2. Cut back verbal freedom (no interrupting…stay still & listen) & 3. Require a verbal and physical response (“Yes, mom.”). After laughing under my breath at this simplistic method, I decided it was worth a try--and let me just say, I was amazed at the results. When I expected them to pay attention to me, look me in the eye, show respect in the middle of it, and then have them agree with me at the end, (as long as I applied it consistently,) we had a whole new relationship of great conversation, mutual respect & order in our household.

Could the same be true in our spiritual lives as well? One might be quoted as saying, “The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my Heavenly Father an apology.” The correlation is truly amazing. God is our Father, and “those” times come for us as His sons and daughters, too. Could the same three actions listed above apply in the relationship with our Father as well?

Action #1: Give Him Eye Contact

“I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? Psalm 121:1
“I lift up my eyes to you, to You whose throne is in heaven.” Psalm 123:1
“But my eyes are fixed on You, O Sovereign LORD; in You I take refuge…” Psalm 141:8a
“A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.” Proverbs 17:24
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:2

Point #2: Cut Back on our Verbal Freedoms

“But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.” Matthew 13:16
“Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10a
“but I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 131:2
“even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Proverbs 17:28
“….turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding…” Proverbs 2:2

Point #3: Grant Him a verbal & physical response

“…I answered, ‘Amen, LORD.’” Jeremiah 11:5b
“In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, ‘Ananias!’
‘Yes, Lord,’ he answered." Acts 9:10b
“I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” Psalm 119:60
“He replied, ‘Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.’” Luke 11:23
“This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome….” 1 John 5:3

If we can ask children to “Stop, Look & Listen” before they cross the street, maybe we can remind ourselves to do the same before we kick off the comforter. And the exclamation mark can be to end our day in obedience! This is impossible to do on our own, friends. Just as a youth needs a loving parent to help him do these things, so we need our Daddy’s help as well. When we ask Him for it, He will not disappoint us: “’Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.” (Zechariah 4:6b) By the guidance of the Holy Spirit, hopefully each of us can be heard quoting the following: “The more I submit to His parenting, the more I say ‘Yes, Lord’ to my Heavenly Father in place of an apology.” Amen and AMEN!

In the Key of HE,

How Do They Know?

My family really enjoyed the movie Enchanted. Fabulous, really. The one thing I DIDN't like (other than the princess's cleavage) was one of the songs got so stuck in my head that I couldn't get it out. I liked the Broadwayesque song, just not that the tune was swirlin' around in my head for DAYS. In the song, Giselle is trying to explain to Robert how a girl knows when a guy really, truly loves her. She runs through parks and down streets getting people to join her in the singing answer to the question.

The songwriters (Alan Irwin Menken, Stephen Schwartz) have a point, you know. People do, for the most part, know that we love them by our actions. Someone can tell us all day long, but if their actions don't match up, we're not really buyin' it, are we?

All throughout Scripture, we as Christians are called to a "showing" kind of love...toward our Savior, toward our brothers and sisters in the faith, toward those who are unlovable. God, in the form of the Trinity, is the noun "love." And we are asked to carry it in verb form. Here are just a handful of hundreds of Scriptures (taken from the NIV) on this subject:

John 5:20
"For the Father loves the Son and shows Him all he does. Yes, to your amazement He will show him even greater things than these."

John 13:1
"It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for Him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved His own who were in the world, He now showed them the full extent of His love."

1 John 4:9
"This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him."

1 Peter 1:22
"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the Truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."

John 21:17
"The third time He said to him, 'Simon son of John, do you love Me?' Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love Me?' He said, 'Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.' Jesus said, 'Feed My sheep.'"

1 John 3:16
"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."

1 John 5:2
"This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out His commands."

To love this way, we must go to the One who is perfect love and who loves perfectly. Surely, you also know that it is possible for someone to be loving and do great things without Jesus being the provider of it. That kind of love will eventually fall short, but that's the subject of a whole other blog. But with Him at the center, us loving Him first and foremost, we can love with the fruit of His Spirit spilling out of us. I am challenged with the "How Do You KNow" song still running through my head, to do just that. I pray those reading will do the same.

If you have not seen this movie or scene from "Enchanted," please take the time. It is incredibly entertaining. But be forewarned, it may be stuck in your head for awhile:



In the Key of HE,

Remember...

"Sometimes I go to God and say,
'God, if Thou dost never answer another prayer while I live on this earth, I will still worship Thee as long as I live and in the ages to come for what Thou hast done already.'
God’s already put me so far in debt that if I were to live one million millenniums I couldn’t pay Him for what He’s done for me."
A.W. Tozer (Worship: The Missing Jewel, 24).

Lord, I will remember your deeds, and yes, Your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all Your works and consider all Your mighty acts. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as You are? I remember that You, Oh God, have been my Rock, that You, the Most High, have redeemed me. I will look to You and Your strength, always seeking Your face. I will remember the wonders You have done, miracle after miracle, and also the judgments You pronounced. Glorious and majestic are Your deeds, and Your righteousness endures forever. You have caused me today to remember Your wonders. You are so gracious and compassionate. In the night I will remember Your name , O Lord, and I will keep Your law. May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember You. You are my highest joy. I meditate on the fact that long ago, You said, "I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more." Thank you, Lord. I will remember the former things, those of long ago. YOU are God, and there is no other.YOU are God, and there is none like You. You have forgiven my wickedness and remembered my sins no more. Yes, Lord, I remember, and I could never pay You back for all that You have done for me. And you wouldn't even ask me to. I love you, God. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Prayer adapted from the following NIV Scriptures: Psalm 77:11-13, Psalm 78:35, Psalm 105:4-5, Psalm 111:3-5, Psalm 119:55, Psalm 137:6, Psalm 143:5, Isaiah 43:25, Isaiah 46:9, Hebrews 8:12


In the Key of HE,

Can I Have a Mentor of Your Time?

Laurie from Women Taking A Stand is hosting Chelsey's At the Well meme today. The topic is mentoring.

Five years ago, as I looked around my thriving, growing metropolitan church, I noticed that very few elderly people were in our midst. The thought occurred to me: How can we expect to grow in wisdom as a church without the very people who are able to model it? Since then, I have seen intentional efforts to diversify our young culture with people of all ages. This past Sunday at church, I greeted three beautiful seniors to my left and my right, and I was thrilled. I told one of the ladies that her blouse was gorgeous, and her eyes lit up the sanctuary.

See, we need to remember, whether we are single and waiting, menopausal, getting our AARP card in the mail, or somewhere in-between, that each of us has a valuable place in the Body of Christ. We, at any age, can be a Godly mentor and can be mentored as well. Without that diversity in our friend circle, our spiritual lives will be sorely malnourished.

Laurie's questions for discussion were as follows:
* Have you ever been mentored by someone?
* What characteristics do you look for in a Christian mentor? (see Scriptures below)
* How do you go about pursuing a Godly mentoring relationship?

I can guarantee you that if I had not been mentored by someone growing up, I would not be the same today. Lost in the middle of a broken, devastating childhood, the odds were against me having a thriving spiritual life. But my grandma, my great aunt and several women at church took the time to build faith into my life. In my high school years, I had one family in particular that took me under their wing...they showed me how to cook, how to carry out certain spiritual disciplines and so much more. One of the largest life lessons I learned from this pastor and his wife was that it was possible to have a long-lasting Godly marriage and loving family relationships. They told me it would be possible for me someday. And they were right.

In my young married years, I had a co-worker who taught me how to live out my faith genuinely, stripping away legalism. I learned loads from her about faith through difficult times, as she raised a blind son, went through several losses of employment with her husband and many other adversities. I remember her calling me and my best friend into her office to pray with her and cry with her. We would listen to her use the Word of God as her weapon, and it impacted both of us hugely.

The last several years, my older sister and a few other women I've served with in ministry have mentored me through my own difficult times, encouraged me in my spiritual giftedness and talents and walked closely beside me through my failures and successes. At the same time, God placed people in my path to disciple along the way. So yes, I've been mentored even before I knew that's what it was, and I continue to be today. And I've been mentoring others since I was an older teenager, and I continue to do so today. Blessing and joy have followed, as well as many deep, meaningful relationships. It's a beautiful system.

God has always provided mentors for me, I've never really looked for them. But if I were to search for one, I'd look for someone who is genuine, able to laugh at life (and herself), constantly pursuing Christ, willing to pray and go deep, and someone who listens before she gives advice. It's also extremely important to me that if the woman is married, she loves her husband sacrificially, not cutting him down or nagging him, supporting him in his weaknesses. And a huge personal bonus for me is to know women who can pull off style without lacking modesty. I'm sorry, but the midrif exposing or the top side exploding is a huge disappointment for me in today's culture of Christian women. (off the soapbox).

Scripture compels all of us as believers to live our lives for others--being other-centered. It even gives us the blueprint of a mentoring lifestyle, whether you're the mentor or the mentored.

Titus 2:3-5 (NIV)
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Proverbs 11:25 (NIV)
A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Romans 1:11-12 (NIV)
I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.

Philippians 2:4 (NIV)
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 3:17 (NIV)
Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.

1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV)
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

Thanks, Laurie, for this great topic, and I pray that we will all learn so much more today as we gather at the well with open minds and hearts.

In the Key of HE,