A Mother's Work Is Nevah, Evah Done! *gasp*

It's Fiction Friday, and Dancin' On Rainbows is hosting.  Here is my contribution...a little something special for the mama's out there. Please feel free to print off and give to your mom (or your husband--eh, hem!). Anyway, enjoy!

Nevah, Evah Done! *gasp*

A Godly mother’s work—nope—never done. There’s no

Mistaking that. For when she ends
One worthy task, another’s one’s begun.
To-do list long. Chores mile wide. That’s not the
Half of it.
Eyes on roam, and ears up tall, she’s
Ready to outwit.
‘
Socks from the dryer, matched, then put away, but

Wait, “I need that special shirt tonight,” her Honey calls to say.
Ohhhhhhh…can you hear her dismay? “Mayday! Mayday!”
Reality invades her--and fast--as she hears her daughter screaming.
Keenly, Mom’s able to redirect,

Incite her child’s mind to dreaming.
Satisfied, she sits for a moment…(tick tock, tick tock)...

Never mind the clock--Its ticking, her
Enemy. Dinner must be started, though,‘cuz she’s a
Volunteer at church this evening.
Even there, no reprieve—she’s on call, don’t you see—a
Ringtone or text away. And come what may,

Every wandering thought
Veers home anyway.
Endless energy
Required. Lasting love of Christ transpired.

Does a Godly mother’s work ever meet its end? Well, let me begin, with my
Opinion.
No. It is only a beginning to a larger end. That day, when her Lord
Exclaims, “Well done. Good and faithful servant”
!

Well done, Mom.

Head on over to Dancin' On Rainbows for more great fiction!

If Walls Could Tattle

I'm so excited to be a part of Patterings Friday Fiction today! I haven't done so in quite awhile. I've been working on this story on and off in my spare time for over six months, and it's finally finished! I pray it reaches the heart of a family that needs the message it has to offer...

For more great fiction, go knock on Yvonne's Back Door. She's hosting the story-telling this week.

If Walls Could Tattle…

I always knew my bedroom closet was small, but now its walls were closing in on me. It was as though the blouses hung there only to smother me, the belts to strangle me.

What is wrong with me? How did I get here? I could hear the baby screaming in the next room, but she sounded miles away. Echoes of “Mom?” “MOM!” “Where are you, Mom?” came from the voice of my preschooler, but his voice was getting farther away, almost to the place where I could hear the Sesame Street theme song.

I just need a few minutes. Pleeease, Lord, please give me a few minutes. “God, what is happening to me?” I whined.

In double time, the activities from the week gone-by sprinted through my mind. I sat curled up and hunched over my knees on the floor, shoving the stinky shoes as far away from me as I could with my fists.

My heart was racing as I recalled each day, though I don’t know why. I spoke at a MOPS event on Monday. Couldn’t have gone better. Tuesday was Amber’s 18-month immunizations. Lots of tears, but no side effects like Joey had at her age. Wednesday, laundry and church. Now what happened on Thursday? Thursday was a blur, and my heart began to race faster. Thursday…was that yesterday?…Oh, I talked to my mother on the phone, then a nap. Or maybe that was two days ago…

I tried to breathe deeply, but I couldn’t drink in enough oxygen. A pain went through my forehead, while the pounding and thumping of my heart continued. Now the phone was ringing. I wanted to get up, but couldn’t. I heard my mother’s voice over the answering machine in the room beside me.

“Lori, hey, this is Mom. This is the third time I’ve called, and I tried your cell phone too. Are you okay? I’m starting to get worried. Please call me.”

I wanted to pick up, but knew I couldn’t. She’ll think I can’t handle being a mom—again.

Joey was nearer than before. “Mom, where are you?”

Bare footsteps squeaked on the floor next to the closet. It was as if he could hear me breathing. Then a trio of knocks tapped on the door.

“Mom?”

“Just a second, Honey,” I squeezed out of my falsetto voice, the only way I could fake a calm.

“Gramma, I found her. She’s in the closet, just a second.”

I heard him plunk the phone down on the bathroom counter and then tiptoe clumsily out of the room. Why did he have to pick up the phone? Pulling myself to my knees, then to my feet, I steadied my stance against the closed door. I took a deep breath to calm myself for the realities that lay ahead of me as I opened the closet door. The piercing sounds of Amber’s cries, no longer muffled, shot straight to my nerve endings. 

“Hello?” The mirror in front of me reflected a plastic smile, but it couldn’t reveal my bitterness toward this unwanted phone conversation. “Yes, Mom, I’m fine.” I combed through my matted, tangled hair with trembling fingers and rushed to comfort the baby. “I was in the closet because I was getting dressed, Mother,” I snipped, nearing Amber’s room.

It was as if I were fifteen again, and no one in the world could understand me. Not even me. But especially my mother, I thought. Her words fell on deaf ears. “How long has the baby been crying, Lori? Has she eaten? You know you’ve got to feed her more often than you did Joey, right? She’s not like Joey. Each child is unique, Lori.”

“Um-huh,” I said, trying my best to ignore the experience I detested in her. I knew I could never measure up to her perfection.

“Lori, are you listening? You know I love you, right? Is Dave helping you around the house? I’m worried you might have post-partum depression, Hon. Do you feel sad and overwhelmed?”

What would she know about overwhelmed? “No, Mom,” I huffed, “I’m not sad, and I’m not overwhelmed.” I bounced Amber up and down across my chest, nearly gagging over a whiff of her reeking diaper.

Joey walked in and handed me a remote control. “Mom, I can’t understand the TV. Can you fix it?” The sound of Spanish voices blared from the next room. “Hurry, Mom, I’m missing the best part,” he whined, pinching his nose to avoid the smell.

Interrupting her unsolicited expertise, I announced, “Mom, I’m gonna let you go. I gotta fix the TV and change a diaper, okay?” I paced back and forth as she droned on. “No, I don’t need your help. I’m fine. You just called at a busy time, that’s all. But I really need to go. I’ll call you later.”

Before she could start her next sentence, I handed the phone back to Joey, and I fought back the tears.

***

Two more of Joey’s favorite shows had passed, as well as two more tantrums from my toddler. And now the only sobs I could hear were my own. The bedroom closet, which held close my secrets of overwhelming sadness, had now become my closest companion.

Author's note: If you need help with postpartum depression, PLEASE stop lying to yourself, and do NOT hide. Your husband, a family member, your church, a licensed Christian counselor or a reputable doctor can help you find a solution. Even if you have not had postpartum with previous children, it can happen. I know, because it happened to me...

Also, I'd be happy to pray for you or even share my personal story if you need extra encouragement. Just press the "Email Me" button on my blog sidebar.

In the Key of HE,

A Day In My Life As Mama, from A to Z

This is a mini writing challenge I did for Faithwriters a little while back. I thought it would be fun to share here, since it is singing my lifesong (well, a somewhat dramatized and exaggerated form of it) in the form of the alphabet.

The A to Z Challenge

1) Use the entire alphabet - A to Z
2) 26 lines - it does NOT have to be a poem - and try to stay on one topic!
3) Alphabet letters can appear at the beginning, middle or end of the words--for example: Xerox Example Fox
4) No word limit

************

Austin, AnaLee and Allison, aka, the “A” Team, are part of the sanctification process for me. Before I say much else, please don’t hold the following information against me or report me to the authorities.

Caring for the “A” team is a blessing, but it isn’t always a picnic. Drama—our home is all about it, as I am probably considered the capital "D" Director of it. Except for an occasional calm day, there is almost always some sort of ordeal.

For one, my oldest child—my new GIANT son (now taller than me)—is beginning to seem a little like Jekyll and Hyde. Growing into a Gigantor overnight isn't easy, I'm sure, but it has to be easier on him than it is on me. He used to be my little compliant baby boy, but now I’m compelled to keep all eyes on him—even the ones in the back of my head. I know I can’t be there every second, but I regularly remind him that God sees, even when I’m otherwise occupied.

Just when I think I’m getting through to him, it’s time for my second child, AnaLee to work the drama. Keeping an eye on her is not a problem at all, as she makes sure she is in my constant view (and earshot). Lots of love can be lost between the two of us if I am not loving her God’s way. Maybe that’s because we are so much alike. Needing extra time in the spotlight, she regularly belts out her favorite song.

“Open the eyes of my heart, Lord" will bellow from her throat voice loud enough to open my ears wide, too. “Pretty, sing pretty,” I remind her. Quick to earn my praise, she then sings the way God made her to sing, bringing this mama to tears.

Running around the house all the while—or should I say “RrrrUFF”ing around the house, is my youngest, as she is a dog freak. Speaking in Spot’s language, she will beg all of us, any of us, to pull her around on her leash as she dutifully plays her role of ‘Man’s Best Friend.’ To add to the chaos, our REAL dog, ABBY (yes, another “A”), decides to snip and snap at Ally-Spot, because she doesn’t like the competition. Unruliness can become an issue, so I often have to step in before someone ends up getting bit by ONE of the dogs in the family.

Visiting friends regularly comment on the less than ideal noise level in my home, but they are kind to stop before making me feel too terrible about my parenting skills, or the lack thereof. What’s this desperate, dramatic, David-like mama to do? X-rays of the head may be considered in my near future, but I'll have to keep you posted on that idea.

You may be thinking about calling ‘Super-Nanny’ on my behalf, but first let me request a favor: Zoom out, and you will see a mama who loves her kiddos, all the way from A to Z, and I’m so thankful that God never stops parenting ME.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, 

that we should be called children of God! 

And that is what we are!” 

1 John 3:1a

How bout ya'all? Any of you need a blog post to write? Give the challenge a try if you dare!

In the Key of HE,

A Mother's Testimony At the Well

"Each day of our lives we make deposits
in the memory banks of our children.
~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family

A little girl, asked where her home was,
replied, "where mother is."
~Keith L. Brooks
 

Great quotes. I thought they would be particularly helpful to start the topic brought up by Penny who is hosting us At the Well today. Thanks to Chelsey for continuing to sponsor the At the Well meme each week.

As I thought through Penny's topic of encouraging our daughters, I couldn't help but think back to my own childhood. Especially since my mom passed away two years ago this week (Sept. 11th, 2006).

I regularly feel the void of a mother/daughter relationship from the "daughter" side of things. My mother was physically and mentally disabled, so I wasn't taught many of the domestic lessons that many moms teach their kids. But, praise the Lord, in His infinite grace and goodness, He gave me a mother who depended on Him for her every breath. Her chronic pain and depression could have turned her to many other ways of coping, but instead she chose the way of the cross. And guess what? I now carry that legacy. So does my sister.


This is the last picture my sister and I had with our mom before she passed away.

So my focus of Penny's three questions (which I will list at the end of this post) is her #1 question: "How do you encourage your daughters in relationship with the Lord?

I teach them what I learned from my mama--to depend on the Lord for everything, to love His Word and to love the church. That is the best encouragement I can give them, because all the other stuff I'm sorta wingin' and learning from others as I go along.

I wasn't taught to follow a recipe for a meal, but I was taught to follow THE recipe for living.
I wasn't taught to clean house, but I was taught to live a clean life.
I wasn't taught to iron, but I was taught to take my wrinkled life before the Lord for perfecting.

And I'm overwhelmingly thankful I learned from her that it is in being weak and broken that I can truly be strong, God-strong.

I'm not saying that the teaching of domestic duties should not be emphasized with our daughters...nothing is farther from the truth. The Bible talks about these important qualities in Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. I'm only saying that I'm probably not the source of expertise on them... ;) I'm hoping as I meet other mothers at the well today I will glean wisdom and insight into improving these areas in motherhood. And maybe someone else can glean from mine.

I truly, truly, truly pray that each woman at the well sees my heart on this subject and that my testimony can encourage another mother who thinks that she can't do the parenting thing for whatever reason. Think about it: if you cannot do one other thing, you can show your daughters how much you love and depend on the Lord, how to open their Bibles and live by it, and give them the love and affection that Christ has given you.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (NIV)
"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

Would love for you to meet us at the well for discussion today. Here are Penny's questions for discussion. Which one can you tackle?
Discussion Questions:
As mothers we have the ability to shape furture generations through our children. Our daughters are not only ours but first and foremost daughters of HIM. The relationship they have with Jesus will affect all they do, now in our homes and later in their own. Having a married daughter expecting her first child, I have been blessed to see this all come full circle, Well almost, the circle seems to grow bigger all the time. I am really excited about sharing this week :)
#1 How do you encourage your daughters in their relationship with the Lord?
#2 How do you encourage them in areas of domestic service in your home?
#3 How do you encourage them in their future of loving their husbands and their own children, and also being content if marriage isn't in God's plan for them?

What's on your mind when you read these? Pleeeeeeeease take the time to share, and to go and learn from other Godly wise women at Penny Raine's blog. I can't wait!

In the Key of HE,

Stop, Look & Listen

Actor & Comedian Ray Romano is quoted as saying, “The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.” Too funny and TOO true! As a mother of an eight, ten and thirteen-year-old, I can honestly say that I don’t know what I’m doing a good majority of the time. Some days, the goin’ is pretty good. However, when “those” times come—the ones where behavior problems, entitlement issues and disrespect rise up---then I lean on the wisdom of the great parents I know who have gone before me.

One of the best nuggets of advice I ever received on taming “those” behaviors was several years ago from a mother of five. She suggested starting with three things before trying any kind of punishment: 1. Get eye contact (have them stop what they’re doing and look me in the eye), 2. Cut back verbal freedom (no interrupting…stay still & listen) & 3. Require a verbal and physical response (“Yes, mom.”). After laughing under my breath at this simplistic method, I decided it was worth a try--and let me just say, I was amazed at the results. When I expected them to pay attention to me, look me in the eye, show respect in the middle of it, and then have them agree with me at the end, (as long as I applied it consistently,) we had a whole new relationship of great conversation, mutual respect & order in our household.

Could the same be true in our spiritual lives as well? One might be quoted as saying, “The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my Heavenly Father an apology.” The correlation is truly amazing. God is our Father, and “those” times come for us as His sons and daughters, too. Could the same three actions listed above apply in the relationship with our Father as well?

Action #1: Give Him Eye Contact

“I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from? Psalm 121:1
“I lift up my eyes to you, to You whose throne is in heaven.” Psalm 123:1
“But my eyes are fixed on You, O Sovereign LORD; in You I take refuge…” Psalm 141:8a
“A discerning man keeps wisdom in view, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.” Proverbs 17:24
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:2

Point #2: Cut Back on our Verbal Freedoms

“But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.” Matthew 13:16
“Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10a
“but I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 131:2
“even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” Proverbs 17:28
“….turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding…” Proverbs 2:2

Point #3: Grant Him a verbal & physical response

“…I answered, ‘Amen, LORD.’” Jeremiah 11:5b
“In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, ‘Ananias!’
‘Yes, Lord,’ he answered." Acts 9:10b
“I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” Psalm 119:60
“He replied, ‘Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.’” Luke 11:23
“This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome….” 1 John 5:3

If we can ask children to “Stop, Look & Listen” before they cross the street, maybe we can remind ourselves to do the same before we kick off the comforter. And the exclamation mark can be to end our day in obedience! This is impossible to do on our own, friends. Just as a youth needs a loving parent to help him do these things, so we need our Daddy’s help as well. When we ask Him for it, He will not disappoint us: “’Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty.” (Zechariah 4:6b) By the guidance of the Holy Spirit, hopefully each of us can be heard quoting the following: “The more I submit to His parenting, the more I say ‘Yes, Lord’ to my Heavenly Father in place of an apology.” Amen and AMEN!

In the Key of HE,

At the Well of Titus 2

I'm participating in an incredible new meme on Mondays created by Chelsey at Joyfully Living. It is called "At the Well: In Pursuit of Titus 2." Please click on this beee-auteeful button if you would like to find out more or participate. It is a privilege to be a part of:

Today's discussion question is as follows:

What does being a Titus 2 woman mean to you?

I've prayed about this question as I've pored over the verses. Chelsey is not asking me, "What does Titus 2 mean?" or "What does Titus 2 teach?" She's asking, "What does being a Titus 2 woman mean to me?

Depending on what mood I'm in, I could answer this question in a hundred different ways. It's an incredible question. But here's my brilliant answer for today.

To me, being a Titus 2 woman means
being a woman who waits at the well.

To keep from slandering, to run from addictions, to teach and train younger women and children, to be self-controlled, to be pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to my husband...to be all those things makes me want to find a brown paper bag to breathe in really fast requires my willingness to wait on the Lord at the well. See, when I come to Jesus empty, thirsty, useless, needy and dependent, He will be my source for Godly living. It is His grace and His gift of salvation that makes it so:

Titus 2:11-14, NIV says, "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

I've played the tapes back time and again in my mind. Whenever I've tried to live righteously without Jesus as the source of it, I've capital-F Failed. Whenever I've depended on Jesus and trusted Him to live righteously through me, I've walked in VICTORY (and by the way, it IS possible to live in victory even when I'm having a bad day, or going through a season of trials...it doesn't mean I'm all smiles. It just means I'm God-strong).

I wish I could say that I am that Titus 2 woman at the well every single moment of every day, but...well, I wanna be. And I want to wanna be more than ever before.

How about you? What does being a Titus 2 woman look like to you? Go sign the Mr. Linky on Chelsey's page and give the question a poke or two on your blog. And we'll be women at the well of Titus 2 together today.

Mad Housewife

I'm mad alright--as a hornet!  And I'm hoping writing this blog will help me calm down a bit.

So first I'm desperate--now I'm mad!  Why are housewives getting picked on so much?

You see, I'm standing in line at the grocery store this evening, and right on the end cap of the candy rack is...I'm not kidding you...a wine being showcased called "Mad Housewife." And it's not just at the end of my row, it's at the end of every row! 

What's up with that?

You know, it's high time housewives started standing up for ourselves. Why does the media company think we're so unhappy that we need to have a show about us desperately reaching out to all kinds of sinful habits to be happy again? Why does a winery think that we're so unhappy or "mad" that we'll buy their product to solve our problems?

Aaaaahhhhh!  Just makes me so mad!

My prayer is that as housewives--or family managers or whatever new title we have come up with to bring dignity back to our position--would begin to show the world what we're made of. By being God-strong, God-confident, God-sufficient and God-consuming, we can take back our name. One of two things will happen. Either they'll all leave us alone because they know they can't win or they'll fight harder.

I'm calming down now, and I'm reminded in my spirit that the battle belongs to the Lord. It will be fought on my knees, in my mind and through my words and actions.  I only hope that some other mad housewives will join me along the way...

Ephesians 6:11-13 (The Message)

And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.
Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

Mama On My Mind

It would have been my mama's birthday today. May 7th, same as my hubby's birthday too. I find myself wishing that God had called me out to write Mom's story while she was still alive, because she has quite a phenomenal story indeed. Can't seem to get my mama off my mind.

The bottom line is that she was handicapped by a tragic car accident in her adulthood. The damage from it caused her years and years of horrific pain that I'm sure no more than a handful have experienced in their lifetime. Though it's taken me my whole life to learn, I am forever endebted to the example she set for me in the faith.

When I get disgruntled, her memory is there. When I get discontent, her memory is there. When I get insecure, her memory is always there. As Mother's Day approaches, it will be my second without her to call on the phone. I miss her. So happy she is whole in mind and body, but I miss her none the same.

God-in-her is the reason that I am who I am today. And what I am is someone who desperately depends on the Lord to get me through each day. She taught me the secret that so many Christians cannot even fathom. It is found in 1 Corinthians 1:27-29 (NIV):

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."

The photo above is the last picture my sister and I had with my mom before she couldn't sit up for pictures anymore (only six months later).

Yup, I just got my mama on my mind today...so I may just have to sing a "Happy Birthday" song to her, even if it's just for me.


Two publications have posted my mom's tribute this month, and I am ever so thankful. One is a Christian newspaper in Amarillo, Texas. The other is an online ezine that is viewed all over the world. You can click here if you are interested in reading my mother's incredible story of courage and God-strength: 

http://journezine.com/May08/LessonsShaw/tabid/1648/Default.aspx