Regrets & Resolutions

I am so blessed to host "At The Well" this week. The topic is REGRETS and RESOLUTIONS. Won't you join us today with your thoughts, traditions and opinions on the subject?

Here are the discussion questions:

The New Year is a time for us to let go of the past and look forward to newness. Everyone thinks about that differently. Answer any one of these questions, all the below, or just give your thoughts about the New Year.

1. What is your favorite "resolution" in the Bible?

2. Do you do a New Year's resolution? Why or why not? Does your family make a resolution together?

3. Usually a resolution comes as a result of regretting something you didn't do the year before. How do you let go of the regret and move forward?

4. (optional...only if you wish to share) Have you ever made a resolution inthe past that you didn't keep and wish you had?

I'm going to share my thoughts by posting a devo/challenge I sent to my website ministry recipients yesterday. It expresses my heart on the subject. The only other thing I would like to add is that my biggest regrets over the past year are when I have grieved the Holy Spirit with my thoughts, words and actions (or the lack thereof). I'm so thankful for His gift of grace and forgiveness, but I hope as I keep in step with Him, I will grieve Him less this year...

CLAUS-trophibic, updated 2009

“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

Psalm 51:10

The day after Christmas, I was cleaning up stuff. Clutter. Junk. I’m not referring to the gifts we received. Rather, the mound of things in the closets and the cabinets with which I would replace those gifts. I was feeling “Closet-trophobic,” if you will.

I found myself seething over the mess I’d allowed to accumulate around my house. Getting more emotional by the moment, I was doing the opposite of whistling while I worked. The Grinch was in the Shaw home, and she was cleaning house.

Here it is a New Year, and I have a similar spout of impatience over the state of my heart. It is cluttered and crowded—claustrophobic. It hasn’t been maintained well. The junk has piled up and is in desperate need of attention.

While so many are making resolutions, I cannot even go there. It would only be a list of more things to “try to do well.” You know? More routines started that will not be finished, more promises made that will not be kept--All of it adding to the mound of my spiritual chaos.

God is so good to keep His resolution to me in my desperate moments. The reason I share my weaknesses is because I know all of us have them. His promise to us no matter what state we are in is that HE is the One who is always faithful, and HE will do the work in us if we let Him. (1st Thessalonians 5:24)

Each year for the past four years, instead of coming up with a New Year’s resolution, I have found a better solution for me is to adopt a Scripture verse for the coming year--something that God lays on my heart that will help me to grow in some way or another.

In 2005, it was Psalm 119:29 of the NLT: “Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.” It was a year of heavy introspection and sanctification. Little did I know how much I would need it for the future…

In 2006, the 1st Thessalonians verse from above impacted me in ways I cannot even put into words: “The One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” Wow, did I need that one during the year that Brian’s dad got sick, his Granddad came to live with us and my mother passed away.

The difficult times in 2006 led me to this verse to adopt for 2007, where the trials would continue: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10, NIV. Somehow in the midst of the long season of suffering and loss our family was going through, God continually reminded me of His promise to make our lives full and complete. We lost Brian’s granddad in our home in April, and Brian’s dad passed away just before Christmas. It was one of the heaviest years our family has ever experienced, and honestly, we’re still recuperating (and learning) from it.

This past year, labeled 2008—I cannot describe in words, and if I could, I would. It was a time of re-learning what the word “normal” means and discovering that there really is no such thing. Each month of the year provided a “new normal” for us. The verse God gave in January was different, in that He gave me three verses to cling to: Psalm 40:1-3 (NIV): “I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.”

So at this present moment, this time to reflect and let down from my spiritual CLAUS-trophobia, what would God have me consider? If I am in keeping with the last four years’ verses, being honest with myself, submitting to the Lord’s faithful promise to do the work in the fullness and newness of Life He provides, what now?

In the Lord’s perfect wisdom, He has led me to a verse for 2009 that is a passionate cry of my heart:

“Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in Your Truth;
give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name.”
Psalm 86:11 (NIV)

I believe this is a year of simplifying, weeding out distractions, and allowing Him to teach me new things about Himself. Honestly, I believe He gave me this verse out of necessity for my emotional, physical and spiritual health. It may take the whole year or even longer, but the decisions and commitments I make will be a direct result of keeping in tune with this prayer.

How about you? Would you be up for the challenge of adopting a verse for this year? Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden Your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against You.”

The key to every kept resolution and promise is the power of His Word unlocked and flowing in your life and mine.

He is so much more interested in our submission to Him than He is to our keeping the rules we make up for ourselves. (see 1 Samuel 15:22) A side note: Our family is in the process of choosing a FAMILY VERSE for the year as well. Each member of the family (10 years old and up) has been searching for a verse that they think would be good for our family to adopt this year. We’re going to put each of them in a hat (after I look over them to make sure they’re legit), and choose randomly which one to adopt for the year. I’m looking forward to this new tradition in our family.

If the closets of your heart are as cluttered and crowded as mine, take a moment to allow the Lord to do some re-organizing. Pray. Ask. Listen. Then submit. He is ready and willing to create in us a “pure heart,” and renew in us a “steadfast spirit,” creating a year that is clutter-free and full of Himself, allowing us to live and move and breathe freely in Him. I’m counting on it.

So what are your thoughts? Share' em. And please know, I don't think there is anything wrong with resolutions at all...I am just speaking from the perspective of LauraLee, wired extremely unique--lee... :)

Dear Lord, thank You for all of Your promises kept, Your resolutions unbroken, Your regrets non-existent. I pray that You would have us beg for more of You this year as we seek to follow You and keep Your Word. More than asking for physical blessings, I pray for Your spiritual blessing on each one of us. It is in Your name that we live and move and pray, Amen.

In the Key of HE,

Having a Mary Christmas

Our host for "At the Well" this week is Tracy from Thirsty for Him. She has chosen the topic of: Having a "Mary" Christmas: Keeping "Christ" in Christmas with Practical Ideas.

She asks us the following questions:
Do you find yourself stressed each Christmas, trying to "DO" all of the activities of the holiday, only finding yourself depleted and wondering if your family celebrated the true meaning of Christmas? What are practical tips and ideas you can share that celebrate Christ and simplifies Christmas?

It has taken me many years, but I can honestly say that I have been set free from being overly stressed at Christmas. Well, as far as the busyness of Christmas is concerned anyway. Certain things in life go on no matter what the season, and my stress load with life in general is a whole 'nother subject. ;)

Two insights I have to participate in this subject, because I'm terrible at traditions. Wish I weren't, but I really am. (sigh)

The first is to take time to worship God alone.

Mark 1:35 (New International Version)
"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."

This may mean turning off the music or walking away from the computer or other distractions...and getting alone with God--focusing on His character, His Word. It's so difficult for moms with little children and little to no support from their spouses, but it can be done. (Just not for long unfortunately).

Honestly, I don't know how anyone keeps the Christ in Christmas without taking the time to focus on the Christ OF Christmas.

I simply cannot. After you've done this, then you can take the time to meditate on the Word and pray with the rest of your family. This, I promise, will make a significant difference in your attitude this December...it's more than listening to Christmas sermons and reading other's devotions...it's TRULY spending time in magnificent wonder and awe of your Savior King. Listening. Telling. Turning. Living.

Second, be intentional about living worship.

Ephesians 5:15-17 (New International Version)
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

It sounds so simple and so basic, but the small things speak Christ into others in the midst of a hectic, complicated, frustrating time for many. We try to tip extra when we can, put coins in the Salvation Army bucket. The kids and I not only put our grocery cart away, but we look for stray ones to put away too. We are friendly in lines at the checkout counter and try not to honk at the person who switches three lanes. Imagine a honk-free Christmas...now wouldn't that be something? (Bear in mind I live in the city).

I always pray that our family would not be out to impress the Santa who knows when you've been bad or good, but that we would be about giving our all to the Savior who knows our thoughts and motives. When I choose to turn a conversation from gossip to praise at a Christmas party, it makes a difference. When I seek out someone who looks left out and sit with them at the Christmas program, it makes a difference.

I could go on and on, but TRULY, the way we live out our faith during this time, demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit in us, the more peace that comes at Christmas, the internal kind anyway. Together, let's reflect on Him and live as though He is our "Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6b)

Mary Christmas! Sooooooo many other thoughts, practical insights and sweet conversation await at Tracy's place. I hope you'll head on over.


In the Key of HE,

Thankful Heart Discussion At The Well

Laurie at Women Taking A Stand is hosting at the well this week, and her topic is "Having A Thankful Heart." With this INCRedible topic, I'd suggest going by to read what Laurie has to say on it. She has the spiritual gift of teaching, and I go regularly to her blog to be fed spiritually and to learn the deep stuff of God's Word.

I would've love to put together something well-packaged for this great topic, but since I'm low on time, I'm just going to answer her discussion questions as if she and I were having a conversation. Would you like to do the same? If so go by Laurie's blog to sign up.

It is easy to give thanks when everything is going well. But how easy is it to give thanks when we are low in the valley?

So TRUE! Honestly, I find it easier to give thanks than to live thanks, you know? I say it and sing it with my mouth, but my moods and actions often communicate a whole different message. The desire of my heart is to be able to say it and mean it at the same time, whether in the high, low or in-between.

How do you give thanks during difficult times?

When I’m going through a difficult time, I HAVE to be honest with the Lord and myself. I admit that I’m feeling yucky, down, depressed, attacked, whatever the emotion, and I ask Him to help me with it, taking the opportunity to thank Him in advance for how He will act and what He will do in the situation. I also ask Him to give me a new attitude and a new perspective—those that are His instead of mine which is limited and human. One other thing I do is to thank Him for His divine character and the sacrifices He made for me. Somehow when I focus on God’s mercies, my heart becomes God-focused instead of me-focused. All of a sudden, I’ll remember all of the other ways He has brought me (and others) through the muddy waters. My heartfelt cries are then exchanged for honest gratitude.

Share with your readers a testimony of how God brought you thru a difficult time.

Oh, wow, there are too many to count. Honestly. One in particular I feel led to share is how the Lord brought me/our family through a self-sacrificing time. Talk about sanctification. When Brian’s father got terminal brain cancer, we were devastated. At the same time, we began to take care of his granddad in our home, all while continuing to homeschool the kids three days a week, Brian helping his step mother care for his dad, while continuing to run his company. My mother in IL got very ill during this same time frame, and I was trying to work in trips to see her. Then she passed away. Granddad’s health with Parkinson’s, and I dare say grief over his only son dying a horrible death, began to deteriorate. He passed away after 20 months of living with us, then Brian’s dad just months after that.

Lemme just tell you, we are STILL recuperating. But there is no WAY we could’ve made it through that time without our faith. In many ways our marriage strengthened. We were forced to work through issues in our marriage that had lurked for many years underneath the surface. Our entire family comforted one another, while at the same time remembering all the ways God had provided for us through it all…big things, small things, mysterious things. Too many blessings to count.

I remember one day in particular. The kids were fighting, Granddad was sitting in the living room with the TV blaring, we had a TON of homework to do, my housework was piled up to the max, and I really thought I might come undone for good. I fell to my knees weeping, locked behind my bedroom door. I ignored the dog barking and the knocks of concern and just sobbed as quietly as I could. And prayed. Begged. With those tears, God poured out His peace. Out came the stress, and in came His supernatural, overwhelming flood of comfort from the Holy Spirit. No major revelation came, no verse came to mind, no song came to my lips. Just silent comfort.

And I’m still thanking Him for that.

Psalm 77:11-12 (NIV)
" I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all Your works and consider all Your mighty deeds."

Dear Lord Jesus, You are amazing. Magnificent. All-powerful. While the enemy tries to steal, kill and destroy, You constantly remind me that You have come to give eternal life, and to the full. Thank You. I don't deserve anything good, but yet, that is what You give, over and over again. Keep me ever mindful and solely focused on You, replacing my emotional perspective with Your perfect vision. This Thanksgiving, cause my thankfulness to pour out to others, in word and in deed, and especially in attitude. In Your name I pray, Amen.

In the Key of HE,

At The Well/Marriage

Chelsey at Joyfully Living for His Glory is hosting this week, and she's asking us to discuss what it means to "stand for your marriage." PLEASE if you have the time, go over to her place to see what she has to say, as well as others. I guarantee you will receive a more extensive study on the subject, especially with the tough questions, than what I have to offer today.

I'm fully occupied with family priorities right now that I don't have time to blog an original on this subject. I was just going to bow out, and I shared my disappointment with the Lord. Then, just an hour or so later, as I was reading some emails from a Yahoo group of my friends, one of them typed that she had never fallen asleep in church before. THAT reminded me of a devo on marriage that I sent out to my edevo subscribers awhile back. I don't believe in coincidence, so I'm going to post that devo. While these words are not written from my "pen" this very day, they are still the cry of my heart's desire and conviction, so they may as well be. I hope the Lord of yesterday, today and forever uses these words to minister to someone who is led to read them.

All Settled?
Try to remember a time when you were so comfortable that you drifted off into a half-sleep. This happened to me often in church as a kid. It was the one place where I felt so at ease and warm inside that sometimes I would almost fall asleep. If it hadn’t been for the fear that people would judge me for dozing off all the way, I most certainly would have! It was a horrible feeling being in the middle of awake and asleep, though,… especially when the pipe organ chimed at the end of the service, and I would get a jolted tingle from head to toe as I tried to look awake to all those around me.

God has been so good to sound the pipe organ as I’ve needed it throughout my life—not just the ones in church, but also those in my spiritual life. Recently, the Lord chimed into my head the desire to ponder my role as a wife. I have a good marriage, but is it all it could be? I wonder if I’ve become content with patterns or attitudes that I shouldn’t be? In many ways, I contribute a great deal. In other ways, I’ve become too comfortable and nodded off. Have you who are married reflected upon this lately?

We all know the cliché about “settling down and getting married.” Well, what happens if you settle down to get married and then somewhere down the road, you just settle?!? Let me explain. I’ve recorded some of the things I’ve either said to myself or have heard others in marriage say over the past year or so (bear in mind these are usually from people who have been married for 10 or more years):

“I want us to be closer, but it’s just so much work!”
“We don’t have anything in common anymore.”
“He says I’ve ‘let myself go.’”
“We stopped trying to pray or read the Bible together, because we end up arguing.”
“I pray for him, but nothing ever changes.”
“I’m so tired of hearing him complain about his work. Can’t he just be happy?”
“I can’t ever do anything right in his eyes, so I’ve just quit trying.”
“He has his TV in the den and I have mine in the bedroom….that way, we both watch what we want to watch.”
“He wants more of me than I have to give. I’m tired after being with the kids all day.”
“I like working because I get praise there. That’s more than I can say for home.”
“He can just forget about having sex more than once a week. That’s enough as it is.”

Ok, I’m stopping, just in case you’re getting uncomfortable. I could probably fill up an entire page with comments just like these. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about major problems in marriage, just the normal everyday stuff. Unfortunately, if you settle in the small areas every single day, the potential is greater for large issues later.

Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life,
and have it to the full.” (John 10:10b, NIV)

My paraphrase for this subject:
“He gave us marriage that we could have one life together, and have it to the full.”

I want to experience His fullness and abundance in my marriage, as much as it is up to me, don’t you? That means we need to pray and then respond as He leads us…He will do the rest. For me, that may mean watching a motorcycle race on TV instead of Law and Order (or working on my blog--ouch). It may mean caring enough about my husband to truly listen to him, even if I’m I’ve used up all my energy for the day. It may mean getting out of my stretchy shorts before he comes home so that I can look beautiful for him. For you, it might mean returning gentle words instead of harsh ones…or maybe trading Nagatha’s hat in for Carissa’s! ☺ Have you thought about the things that matter to your spouse lately? Do you pray for him daily? No matter the issues, we all could use this piece of advice from Philippians 2:1-5 to help us stay awake in our relationships:

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, 
if any comfort from His love,
if any fellowship with the Spirit,
if any tenderness and compassion,
then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:”

Somehow these verses are easier live out with our friends or co-workers or people at church, but God desires our marriages to honor Him, “shining like stars in the universe as we hold out the Word of life.” (Philippians 2:15, 16a)

So, dear married friends, as much as it is up to us, let’s pray together that the Lord would settle us on the firm foundation of His plan for our part in a God-honoring union—not for the norm in this “crooked and depraved generation.” Stay in the Word and pray Pray PRAY, and it will guide you how to live and love less selfishly, more deeply, less casually and more fully…may we never settle for less!

In the Key of HE,

Who Am I?

Chelsey at Joyfully Living for His Glory is hosting this week, and she wants us to take the time to tell about ourselves. So it's gonna be LOUD! And I'm so excited to know my sisters better. I wish I had more time to put this post together and organize it well, but I'm extremely limited on time right now, so I'll speak off the cuff. Hey, at least I have the backspace key in this conversation. Too bad we don't have them in real life discussions, right?

Wellza (pun intended), here is my story, at least part of it:

Today:
Brian and I have been married for almost 19 years. He's a blessing to me, and I can say honestly that our love has grown deeper and more unselfish over the years. (thank goodness!) Our kids are known as the "A Team," seeing as all their names start with "A"s. Austin is 13, AnaLee is 10, and Allison is 8. And Allison would have a heart attack if I didn't mention that Abby, our 8-year-old Toy Manchester Terrier is also part of those "A"s.

I've entered a new season of parenting--one where the titles of taxi driver, counselor, teacher, friend, intercessor, manager, director and social coordinator all fall under the same hat. Life never gets dull, and my kids make the season fun and laughter-filled. Wouldn't be completely real, though, if I didn't mention that, with the way I'm wired, this is a tough season for me. It's easy on the discipling, shepherding front. Tough on the hectic pace, juggling, and constant "with-it-ness" that it takes to stay on top of all the physical and emotional issues. It keeps me on my knees!

My past:
Would take me a novel, so the nutshell version is, it was tough, but God faithfully provided beauty in midst of the pain. Though dysfunction, abuse and tragedy lined the walls of my childhood home, I refuse to allow those to define me. I am not a victim, I am an overcomer in Christ.

I grew up in an itty bitty town (3200 people) in southern Illinois with only a few stoplights in the town square. Everybody knew everybody else, and it was kind of neat that way. Most of my mom's family lived around us, so my life was full of time with family--grandma and grandpa, aunts and cousins.

My personality as a young girl was always a bit offbeat. I yakked off the ears of strangers and would pretend with Barbies and dolls in my bedroom for hours at a time. As I grew up, I often role-played what I was going to be when I grew up. I started off as a fast food window clerk, got promoted to television anchor woman, then ended up a famous Christian singer. Quite the imagination I had.

The First Baptist Church of my town meant the world to me. I was saved there at 6 years old and married there almost 14 years later. The people in that Body cared for our family through the most difficult of times.

It makes me tired remembering all the activities I dove into as a youth. Almost everything that was offered. In retrospect, I know that was because I needed an escape from my home life, but at the time, I just thought I needed to do it all. My favorite, though, was singing and acting. When I left home after high school, I moved to Texas to go to college on a music scholarship, and I was able to do so because my only sister (and best friend) and her husband took me into their home to live.

I had only been in Texas a few months when I met Brian, and two years later, we were married. Wowzer, did he swoop me off my feet. As a matter of fact, he still is. We've had a rough three years, full of loss and taking care of others, and I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather walk through it with than Brian. We lost his dad to a brain tumor (which was a long suffering death), had his granddad live in our home for a few years and pass away in Brian's arms in our house, and we lost my mom in the midst of taking care of both of them. All of the suffering and pain has brought us to this new normal, this strange new place of figuring out what God wants us to do as a family. It's brought us to a place where we've had to seek Him with open hearts about how He wants us to spend our time, our money, our passions, our ministry. We're still working through it.

While I'm pretty sure everyone in the blogosphere has read it, because it has had the most reads and posts of any I've written, one story in particular that I wrote tells a great deal about who I am and where I've come from. It has some pics as well. If the Lord leads you, give it a read when you have some spare time. It's called Remember Glory.

My life Scripture verse is Psalm 118:14 (NIV):
"The LORD is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation."

I picked this verse a few years back, because I realized then that through all of the hardships I face, He has become my strength. With all of the voices from the past that try to throw me into depression and despair, He has become my song. With all of the strongholds I discover that I need freeing from, HE has become my salvation.

The Lord has been, is and will continue to be so very faithful. I'm blessed to have my husband, my kids, my best friend and sister, a brother-in-law that is just like my brother, my precious nieces and nephews, a few very close friends, and a bundle of faithful, fun friends and ministry partners. Above all, I have a faith that will not be shaken because of a God that loved me enough to send His one and only Son to die for me. My future, though unwritten here on earth, is written in permanent ink in Heaven, and that defines my life above all.

In the Key of HE,

A God-Honoring Schedule

My precious sister and new friend Sunny from A Damsel No Longer in Distress is hosting a fabulous topic at the well today: Preparing a God-honoring Schedule with No Regrets...what an awesome time for those of you reading to jump in on the subject. I'd love to hear what you have to say. Here's Sunny's discussion questions:

1. Have you ever planned your day, week or month, then regretted making the commitments you’ve made, wondering if your plan was the right one?
2. Have you ever wondered if you should’ve said “yes” to one person and “no” to another and just weren’t sure what the best thing to do was?
3. Who or what does your schedule represent? Does it represent you, your affinities, or your love for Christ?

Twill be Incredible and useful chatter at the well today…and for the most part, I'll be a student and a listener, because the word "schedule," oftentimes, can send me into a tailspin. Can’t wait to hear the advice, wisdom and admonition the other ladies have to share, and I’ll be listening with an open heart and an open mind.

I've always been pretty organized with tasks and projects, but planning and maintaining a schedule can be rather difficult for my creative, artsy-pop-tartsy brain. Unless, that is, I think of it in terms of the order of priorities which God lays on my heart each day.

Truly, I go through my "list" with Him, usually with a desperate voice, and ask for His help. I've learned that because structure is so difficult for me to maintain, He can act and work through my weakness accordingly as I readily admit my need.

I wake up earlier than my kids so that I can start my day with Him, asking Him to help me order the tasks that are on my plate. It seems they are different each day, as my kids go to school two days a week and school at home three days a week. It's a challenge to maintain a regular routine, but the Lord helps me one day at a time, hopefully bringing glory to Himself in the process.

One word I can offer to this subject is that as Christian women, we need to constantly lay our priorities and our expectations before the Lord. When those are out of balance, then everything else is too, schedule or no schedule.

To compare ourselves to others--what and how much So-and-so can do and where we are insufficient—that is the ultimate mistake. When our focus is on what someone else is doing better than us, then we can't very well focus on God, can we? (By the way, the opposite is true as well...if we think we are better than another, then eek...) I do believe it is okay to admire the Godly qualities in another and even ask the Lord to help you adopt some of those qualities, but just stay open to what the Lord wants for YOU as His unique creation.

Beware of earthly formulas that promise to help you have it all together. Just as you consult a physician before you start a certain medication, make sure you consult the Great Physician before you accept a prescription for fixing what's "wrong" with you in this area. What works for one family may not work for yours.

The Lord lives and moves and breathes in each one of us according to the measure we surrender our lives to do so. He made you, He made me, He knows us intimately, and He has a unique way of working in each one of us.

Keep your eyes focused on what HE wants you to do, be obedient to it, and He’ll begin to put your schedule in order, in a way that is best for you and your family. He will keep you open and teachable, and will direct you to people who can give you suggestions as you need it. He will always be faithful to work it out in you as you lay down your pride and follow his leading. A few of the verses that I've memorized in the NIV are perfect for this, but I'm typing The Message version in order to put it in a fresh way:

"Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life."
Galatians 6:4-5, The Message

"Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure."
Philippians 2:13, The Message

This is what He has done and is continuing to do for me. Very soon, I’ll be sharing a personal example of some huge priority decisions I’ve had to make recently, but the timing isn’t quite right yet. Besides, I want to make sure I have enough time in my schedule (lol) to take in what all the other ladies have to say at the well. While I’ll choose not to compare, I’m still certain I’ll learn a ton from the wisdom God has given them…He’ll even give me some of that stuff to work on and implement into my own life, I feel sure.

In His perfect time, in His perfect way, through His unique plan for me, I can have a schedule that honors God, and the same is true of you.

So tell me what you think about it...


In the Key of HE,

Rising To Finish

I LOVE the topic at the well today:
"Arise and shine - being an exceptional Mother in the midst of the ordinary."

Lisa, from A Second Generation of Homeschooling is leading us at the well, and throwing out questions that are sure to keep us talking for awhile:

1. What daily tasks seem mundane or monotonous to you?
2. How can we change our outlook when completing these tasks?
3. What impact do these tasks have on our husband and children? How does it make a difference in their lives?
4. Is it okay to focus on earthly recognition when completing these tasks for our loved ones, or is receiving an eternal reward sufficient? What does Jesus think is more important? Should that be our focus, as well?

If you want to get just a glimpse of the very heart of God, go by Lisa's blog and read what she has to say while introducing this topic. It will get your brain juices flowing in the right direction. And by all means, sign up and give us your thoughts on the subject, even if you've never done so before. You'll enjoy the conversation that follows as a result.

**********************************
When I saw this topic, I was intrigued by the phrase “Arise and Shine.” I had never thought of it in terms with tasks around the house before, but oh, what a lovely thought. An insightful and anointed one, for sure.

If I could truly approach each task in my day, even the boring ones, with that kind of attitude, how different my home would be—how different my faith would be.

A song popped into my head immediately that I used to teach to my preschool kids’ choir years ago. I think the Lord knew I needed a little bit of that song to light the fire under me in regard to this topic:

"Jesus wants me for a sunbeam,

To shine for Him each day;

In every way try to please Him,

At home, at school, at play.

Refrain:

A sunbeam, a sunbeam,

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam;

A sunbeam, a sunbeam,

I’ll be a sunbeam for Him."

I don’t think it matters if I'm 5 or 50—Jesus wants me to shine for Him. So I’ll level with you now…where hasn’t the sun been beamin’ so brightly lately in my home as it pertains to this probe?

One word: Completion.

Don’t mind cooking, but I hate the cleaning up. I’ll wash your clothes, I’ll dry your clothes…I’ll even fold ‘em, but do I have to put ‘em away? I’ll buy the groceries, but it sure is tough to move it from countertop to cabinet. Oh, and the receipt for those groceries? Do I really have to tell you they’re stuffed in a wad in my purse?

This is getting way too personal…

But how has the Lord changed my outlook regarding these tasks?

One thought at a time.
One scripture at a time.
One piece of Godly advice at a time.
One call to the Lord for help at a time.

AS the Lord transforms me in my weaknesses, His strength clearly shines through.

Judges 5:31b
“But may they who love you be like the sun,
when it rises in its strength."

And when He beams through me, breaking through my humanness and weakness, it brings light to the whole family. It gives them hope. It gives them a standard. It gives them an example to follow.

So finishing what I start may seem mundane when I’m muddling through the everyday stuff, but really, it is just the opposite. It reaps eternal consequences. Can you imagine if Jesus had not finished the work the Lord gave Him to start?

No, putting my laundry away will not save a dying world from their sins, that is a fact. But it will demonstrate the Lord’s character in a way I’ve been chosen to do so—with the work He’s given me to do.

Colossians 3:17 (the Message) says:
"Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—
be done in the name of the Master, Jesus,
thanking God the Father every step of the way."

"I will ask Jesus to help me

To keep my heart from sin;

Ever reflecting His goodness,

And always shine for Him.

Refrain:

A sunbeam, a sunbeam,

Jesus wants me for a sunbeam;

A sunbeam, a sunbeam,

I’ll be a sunbeam for Him."

Thank You Lord, for finishing the work You were given to do,
and the love You showed when You did so.
May I never see the everyday as ordinary in light of this extraordinary sacrifice of Yours.
Remind me, Lord, that I should have Your very attitude in all that I do,
and that you will light the fire of completion under my hands and feet
as I submit myself to Your will.
Forgive me for whining, Lord.
Reflect Your goodness and strength through me, Lord, I pray.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

In the Key of HE,

Reference: I'll Be a Sunbeam
Nellie Talbot
Copyright: Public Domain

Maybe We Should Hang Out At The Well Longer...

Natalie at I am (not) is hosting At the Well today, and wow, is her place beautiful!!! What a perfect person to host this week's topic: Our homes. She says, "Our home is an extension of who we are. How does your home reflect who you are?"

This is an incredible subject, so well, why don't we hang out a little longer at the well? Sure, it would be more comfy to sit in my cafe style living room sipping a freshly brewed latte from my espresso machine, but my laundry is stacked a mile high, dirty dishes line my counter and sink, and well, my kids may or may not be out of their pajamas yet. No, I'm thinkin' we better just stay here. It's easier than having to admit that I'm a classified, certified "Messy." Thank goodness I don't live in a glass house. I'm thinkin' a stained glass one is more in order. Catch my drift?

This would've been my exact thoughts a few years ago, but God has set me free from them. First of all, He's helped me to develop the discipline to at least keep things picked up, AND to make my kids responsible to help around the house. Secondly, He's helped me to accept the way I'm wired. Not everyone is built to be a Domestic Diva, and that's okay. The Lord wants us to be good stewards of what He's given us, so we must develop the discipline to do so. But He also wants us to be good stewards of our gifts, our talents and our salvation. It's a constant balancing act, but I believe my home reflects that balance most of the time.

If our home is an extension of who the Shaws are, then what you will see is a family who is seeking to follow the Lord's priorities for us. Sometimes, the homefront is messy and unstructured while our service to others is in full force. Every now and then, the smell of pine cleaner mixed with coffee will seep through the screen windows, hopefully with a melody of loud praise songs bursting from my daughters and me (and no, I don't let them drink the coffee...that's so I can keep up with them). My teenage son does his share of chores as well, but his tune is more of a grunt and a few deep groans. ;)

I think...maybe...I hope that if our family lived in a glass house, that people would instantly want to come in. I hope they could see past the occasionally messiness and lack of structure and see our hearts instead. I pray that they would want to join in with our devotion times and prayer times. I have a feeling they would enjoy being entertained by my two highly imaginative daughters. Maybe they would even enjoy playing some basketball in the backyard or playing a game of the Wii with my son. Hey, I wouldn't mind a little help with the homeschool work, either. ;) They might want to skip meal time, but snack time is pretty nice... They would see a lot of laughter and just as many tears. Hopefully, our realness and lack of pretense would draw them in and not scare them away. We often pray that we would be a home undivided with hearts that serve the Lord. We've got a ways to go there, though. ;)

So that's my story. Have I made you want to come for a visit or have I scared you away? Regardless, you're welcome anytime, but you miiiiiiiiight want to leave your expectations for perfection at the door. Purty please? ;)

Joshua 24:15b
"...as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

At the Well/Flat Ceiling Prayers

At the well today, Heather at Emotional Purity is hosting a "dry" subject, and she has even given great wisdom on the topic at her blog. I suggest you read what she has to say about spiritual dryness...it is gooooood stuff.

As for me, something specific comes to my mind, and I feel led to share it. 

I remember that moment all too well. The dishes were piled up. The laundry pile was larger than the city landfill, the kids were acting out, and I was depressed. I had truly hit bottom spiritually speaking, and my life reflected it--in my words, in my actions, in everything.

Brian's granddad was living with us at the time, I was homeschooling (part-time) three kids, had an ongoing leadership position at church (which in retrospect I should've given up for a season), Brian's dad ALSO had terminal brain cancer, and I was taking granddad back and forth to see him, and going to see him myself (because he was the only father I ever really had), and etc. It's impossible for me to capture all of the circumstances that led to suffocate the life out of me spiritually, but there I was.

Now let me just say that in my case, I was still in the Word and on my knees, so I wasn't spiritually dry in the sense that I wasn't faithful to seek Him. But I was spiritually dry in the sense that none of it penetrated my heart. My prayers felt empty. The Bible fell flat. I whined and sobbed to the Lord with my whole heart; yet, I felt like I may as well have been talking to the ceiling. I even turned to other things to try to make me feel better--food, entertainment, etc. That just furthered the wedge between the Lord and me, sending me further out into the desert.

I began to withdraw from friends, because I was tired of answering the question: "How are you doing? Do you need anything?" I wanted the phone to stop ringing, I wanted the kids to leave me alone, I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide myself deep under the sheets at the foot of the bed.

But here's what God did to all my flat ceiling prayers: He scraped them off and answered them. Not by changing my circumstances, but by changing my heart, teeny tiny little by little. He began prodding me to be thankful. His challenge came from the words of other people. He caused me to become broken and humble enough to let others in to help. Friends brought us meals, sent cards, prayed for me without my even knowing it, sent emails of encouragement, and on and on.

Before long, I was out of the pit and walking with joy in the valley. Not every second, but most of them. I was still exhausted, weepy and at the end of myself, but I was God-strong. He held me up through the arms of others, and kept me there through the power of His Word. The Lord, my Saviour, my Redeemer pulled me out of the pit by my shirt collar and gave me these verses to hold onto:

Psalm 40:1-3
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

If you are there right now--no matter the circumstances--smack dab in the middle of spiritual dry, don't stop crying out to God. Don't stop reaching out to Him. Even if it feels like your cries are falling flat to the floor or sticking to the roof of the ceiling. Even if you're walking around in puddles of tears. Even if you can't walk at all. The enemy wants to get you alone to tempt you, He wants you to withdraw, He wants you to seek other "stuff" to fix you up right, but it will lead to further separation from the Lord, the Only One who can heal what needs fixing. This isn't a formula, it's straight from Truth. Did you read those verses closely?

And it's almost impossible to understand if you're in the pit right now, but those last verses are so, so, so true as well. When the new song comes, filled with praise, many will see it and put their trust in the Lord. I'm a living, breathing witness of this truth.

Let me know your thoughts, and remember to head on over to Heather's for insightful teaching on the subject.

In the Key of HE,

Conversation "In The Raw"

At the Well today, we're doin' lots of talkin about talking. I think this is one of my most favorite topics ever at the well, probably because I'm a big ole blabber mouth. I'm so anxious to learn from the other women on the subject. Laurie Ann at Magnolia Heartbeats is the hostess today. Thank you so much for this incredible topic, Laurie Ann.

It seems to me that words are pretty important to God. When He created the world, He spoke it into being. When Jesus was tempted by Satan, the importance of God's words shone through again: Matthew 4:4, "Jesus answered, 'It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' " Also, John 1 makes it clear that the Word came first and that the Word was God. Tremendous significance.

As it applies to me today, I know that "out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks," and that I am to "let the Word of Christ dwell in me richly as I teach and admonish others with all wisdom." I am convicted by the fact that I am told that when or IF I speak, I should do it as one "speaking the very words of God." A tall order from a tall God.

For me personally, the struggle comes with the words I speak "in the moment." When I think and pray and am slow to speak, all is pretty well, but the spontaneous moments, the "conversation in the raw," yikes...that is where I need the help.

It's when my daughter loses her temper.
It's when my son is a know-it-all.
It's when my husband points out fault in me.
It's when I'm drowning in self-importance, and I think my opinion will make a difference.
It's when I read something that offends me, and I hit "reply" a moment too soon. (yes, the cyber-words we speak count too)
It's when...I could go on and on...it's when I don't think before I speak.

As much as that works in the seemingly negative way, the opposite can apply as well.

Sometimes I show no restraint in my tongue with the complimentary words. I become a flatterer, or someone who speaks words in order to get a response. I give false praise and empty encouragement. Yuck, that is just as despicable. Really, it is.

Then there's the gray line: the words we speak that have potential toward value or not. Small talk. Sometimes these words are useful for making a deeper relationship, sometimes they're spoken to get us through moments that I'd rather not share at all, and sometimes they are just a waste of time, a substitute for something more important I should be doing. I've asked the Lord countless times to make me a good steward of my words, because I believe they are to be used wisely and sparingly.
"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." Colossians 3:17

This is such a deep subject at the well, that I'll betcha we're here for hours discussing. My bottom lines are the following:
1. I want to be self-controlled in my speech, thinking before I speak.
2. I want my words to matter, to have Christ's power and effectiveness behind them.
3. I want my words to be genuine and sincere, not empty praise or flattery--true encouragement from Christ.
4. I want to use less words, being a good steward of them. They don't have to be all serious and somber, just useful.

One of my favorite quotes as a writer is "If you want to change the world, pick up your pen." (Martin Luther) Why? Because words are that powerful. I consider the words I type on a comment page or in a chat room or on Facebook or even the ones sent to my devotional list or the teacher about homework as conversation. So I must be as careful and apply the same way of thinking to my typed and written words as well.

Thanks, Chelsey, for the opportunity to meet, and for you, Laurie Ann to introduce such a great topic.

In the Key of HE,

Purity Tested/At the Well

Tracy at Thirsty for Him is the hostess of Joyfully Living's "At the Well" meme this week, and her topic is Purity--being set apart from the world.

I feel led to share a story with the young ladies at the well today...

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young,
but set an example for the believers
in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
1 Timothy 4:12

Tamela hoped she was doing just that: setting an example of her Christian faith through her speech, her life, her faith and her purity. While other seniors were running around drinking alcohol, fooling around with their boyfriends or fighting and gossiping with their friends, she was on the up and up. It had taken her several years, but she finally had a grasp on how to be "in the world" but not "of it" at school.

"
Blessed are the pure in heart," she thought several times a day, "for they will see God." She'd been taught that the way to living a holy life was to keep her heart pure. Her mother had taught her. Her youth leader had taught her. People had come to know this about her.

The evening of the senior prom had arrived, and Tamela knew that it was going to be the night of her life. Eric and she had been dating for six months, and she was crazy about him. He was a perfect gentlemen when he arrived to pick her up, corsage in hand. As he opened the car door for her, he told her how beautiful she looked.

"Thank you, Eric, you're so sweet," she said, cheeks flushed.

After the most romantic and incredible evening she had ever had, and it was much more so than she even could've dreamed, she thanked God in her mind for blessing her with it. "Eric, I'm so thankful God gave you to me. The evening was perfect. Thank you."

"Only the perfect evening for the perfect girl." His eyes melted her heart.

She scooted a little closer to him in the car, grabbed his arm over hers and nestled her head in his shoulder. She dreamed of the fairy tale end at the front door of her house and shut her eyes, completely secure and relaxed. She felt the car turn and then come to a stop.

"What?" Tamela was horrified. "What are you doing here?" She noticed the words "Super 8 Motel" as she looked up in front of her.

"You'll see..." he said and shut the car door.

Her heart was beating out of her chest, and her eyes were burning with fear. "How can a young woman keep her way pure? By living according to Your Word," she recited, gasping for air. "I seek You with all my heart; do not let me stray from Your commands. I have hidden Your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against You."

Peace overcame her. And strength too. Courage turned to action. Tamela opened the car door, walked inside the small, grungy door to the check-in window and said, "May I use your phone please?"

"Wait, Tamela, no, what are you doing?" Eric punched.

"I'm calling my dad to come and get me, that's what."

"Wait, why?" He sighed, handing the key back to the cashier. "Forget it, Tamela, I'll take you home."

"No, I don't trust you now. I told you that I would never be with a guy before I got married. And I've never done anything to lead you to believe otherwise."

The cashier handed her the phone, and then, "Dad? Hi, I'm okay, but um, I need you to come and get me..."

Later that evening, she wrote in her journal through foggy eyes.
"So I guess what it all boils down to in this life is that if you keep your heart pure, then you'll know what to do when that sinful moment comes along. I didn't ask for it, I didn't even hope for it, but the moment came. The secret for being holy starts in my heart, so I always want to keep a clean heart. God help me keep a pure heart."

Then she wrote,
"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22" and "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10"

She ended the shoulda-coulda-been perfect night as perfectly as she knew how--on her knees by her bed.


For incredible advice, insight and wisdom on this necessary topic, please visit Tracy's blog. She'll have so much there and more...

In the Key of HE,

A Mother's Testimony At the Well

"Each day of our lives we make deposits
in the memory banks of our children.
~Charles R. Swindoll, The Strong Family

A little girl, asked where her home was,
replied, "where mother is."
~Keith L. Brooks
 

Great quotes. I thought they would be particularly helpful to start the topic brought up by Penny who is hosting us At the Well today. Thanks to Chelsey for continuing to sponsor the At the Well meme each week.

As I thought through Penny's topic of encouraging our daughters, I couldn't help but think back to my own childhood. Especially since my mom passed away two years ago this week (Sept. 11th, 2006).

I regularly feel the void of a mother/daughter relationship from the "daughter" side of things. My mother was physically and mentally disabled, so I wasn't taught many of the domestic lessons that many moms teach their kids. But, praise the Lord, in His infinite grace and goodness, He gave me a mother who depended on Him for her every breath. Her chronic pain and depression could have turned her to many other ways of coping, but instead she chose the way of the cross. And guess what? I now carry that legacy. So does my sister.


This is the last picture my sister and I had with our mom before she passed away.

So my focus of Penny's three questions (which I will list at the end of this post) is her #1 question: "How do you encourage your daughters in relationship with the Lord?

I teach them what I learned from my mama--to depend on the Lord for everything, to love His Word and to love the church. That is the best encouragement I can give them, because all the other stuff I'm sorta wingin' and learning from others as I go along.

I wasn't taught to follow a recipe for a meal, but I was taught to follow THE recipe for living.
I wasn't taught to clean house, but I was taught to live a clean life.
I wasn't taught to iron, but I was taught to take my wrinkled life before the Lord for perfecting.

And I'm overwhelmingly thankful I learned from her that it is in being weak and broken that I can truly be strong, God-strong.

I'm not saying that the teaching of domestic duties should not be emphasized with our daughters...nothing is farther from the truth. The Bible talks about these important qualities in Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. I'm only saying that I'm probably not the source of expertise on them... ;) I'm hoping as I meet other mothers at the well today I will glean wisdom and insight into improving these areas in motherhood. And maybe someone else can glean from mine.

I truly, truly, truly pray that each woman at the well sees my heart on this subject and that my testimony can encourage another mother who thinks that she can't do the parenting thing for whatever reason. Think about it: if you cannot do one other thing, you can show your daughters how much you love and depend on the Lord, how to open their Bibles and live by it, and give them the love and affection that Christ has given you.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (NIV)
"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."

Would love for you to meet us at the well for discussion today. Here are Penny's questions for discussion. Which one can you tackle?
Discussion Questions:
As mothers we have the ability to shape furture generations through our children. Our daughters are not only ours but first and foremost daughters of HIM. The relationship they have with Jesus will affect all they do, now in our homes and later in their own. Having a married daughter expecting her first child, I have been blessed to see this all come full circle, Well almost, the circle seems to grow bigger all the time. I am really excited about sharing this week :)
#1 How do you encourage your daughters in their relationship with the Lord?
#2 How do you encourage them in areas of domestic service in your home?
#3 How do you encourage them in their future of loving their husbands and their own children, and also being content if marriage isn't in God's plan for them?

What's on your mind when you read these? Pleeeeeeeease take the time to share, and to go and learn from other Godly wise women at Penny Raine's blog. I can't wait!

In the Key of HE,

Can I Have a Mentor of Your Time?

Laurie from Women Taking A Stand is hosting Chelsey's At the Well meme today. The topic is mentoring.

Five years ago, as I looked around my thriving, growing metropolitan church, I noticed that very few elderly people were in our midst. The thought occurred to me: How can we expect to grow in wisdom as a church without the very people who are able to model it? Since then, I have seen intentional efforts to diversify our young culture with people of all ages. This past Sunday at church, I greeted three beautiful seniors to my left and my right, and I was thrilled. I told one of the ladies that her blouse was gorgeous, and her eyes lit up the sanctuary.

See, we need to remember, whether we are single and waiting, menopausal, getting our AARP card in the mail, or somewhere in-between, that each of us has a valuable place in the Body of Christ. We, at any age, can be a Godly mentor and can be mentored as well. Without that diversity in our friend circle, our spiritual lives will be sorely malnourished.

Laurie's questions for discussion were as follows:
* Have you ever been mentored by someone?
* What characteristics do you look for in a Christian mentor? (see Scriptures below)
* How do you go about pursuing a Godly mentoring relationship?

I can guarantee you that if I had not been mentored by someone growing up, I would not be the same today. Lost in the middle of a broken, devastating childhood, the odds were against me having a thriving spiritual life. But my grandma, my great aunt and several women at church took the time to build faith into my life. In my high school years, I had one family in particular that took me under their wing...they showed me how to cook, how to carry out certain spiritual disciplines and so much more. One of the largest life lessons I learned from this pastor and his wife was that it was possible to have a long-lasting Godly marriage and loving family relationships. They told me it would be possible for me someday. And they were right.

In my young married years, I had a co-worker who taught me how to live out my faith genuinely, stripping away legalism. I learned loads from her about faith through difficult times, as she raised a blind son, went through several losses of employment with her husband and many other adversities. I remember her calling me and my best friend into her office to pray with her and cry with her. We would listen to her use the Word of God as her weapon, and it impacted both of us hugely.

The last several years, my older sister and a few other women I've served with in ministry have mentored me through my own difficult times, encouraged me in my spiritual giftedness and talents and walked closely beside me through my failures and successes. At the same time, God placed people in my path to disciple along the way. So yes, I've been mentored even before I knew that's what it was, and I continue to be today. And I've been mentoring others since I was an older teenager, and I continue to do so today. Blessing and joy have followed, as well as many deep, meaningful relationships. It's a beautiful system.

God has always provided mentors for me, I've never really looked for them. But if I were to search for one, I'd look for someone who is genuine, able to laugh at life (and herself), constantly pursuing Christ, willing to pray and go deep, and someone who listens before she gives advice. It's also extremely important to me that if the woman is married, she loves her husband sacrificially, not cutting him down or nagging him, supporting him in his weaknesses. And a huge personal bonus for me is to know women who can pull off style without lacking modesty. I'm sorry, but the midrif exposing or the top side exploding is a huge disappointment for me in today's culture of Christian women. (off the soapbox).

Scripture compels all of us as believers to live our lives for others--being other-centered. It even gives us the blueprint of a mentoring lifestyle, whether you're the mentor or the mentored.

Titus 2:3-5 (NIV)
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Proverbs 11:25 (NIV)
A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Romans 1:11-12 (NIV)
I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith.

Philippians 2:4 (NIV)
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 3:17 (NIV)
Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.

1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV)
Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

Thanks, Laurie, for this great topic, and I pray that we will all learn so much more today as we gather at the well with open minds and hearts.

In the Key of HE,

What's A Wife To Say? Straight talk to wives...

As an older been-married-awhile wife, sometimes the call comes to talk to the younger still-new-at-this wife. Cindy at CindyBeall.com didn't leave me a choice, either, because we are meeting her as the host of Chelsey's At the Well meme today. Cindy's topic and questions for discussion are as follows:

Your topic:
Marriage - Building Up Your Spouse

Your Discussion Question:
How well do you sweet-talk your spouse?

What are some things you can say TODAY to let your spouse know that you think the world of them?

For once, I'm excited that there is a topic that I'm actually pretty good at. Cooking, blech! Sewing, huh? Ironing, I plead the 5th. But I do believe that if you were to ask Brian if I build him up appropriately with words, he would give a resounding "Absolutely." That's because I have the spiritual gift of encouragement.

Unfortunately, Brian is kind of the opposite. He would much rather me SHOW him how much I think about him than hear me say it any day. If I tell him I'm happy to see him and give him a smooch, then get back on my laptop, he's not feelin' the love, you know? If I greet him at the door in my favorite comfy tshirt and stretchy shorts, well...let's just put it this way. He doesn't complain, but he certainly notices when I groom myself before he pulls in the driveway.

That said, I know not every husband is this way, and no matter what the love language, NO SPOUSE WANTS TO BE SHREDDED to bits or nagged the majority of the time. Some women have allowed it to become habit to tear their spouses apart with their words, often not even realizing that's what they're doing. I cannot encourage you enough, if you think you could at all be nicknamed "Nagatha," to think and pray the Lord would show this to you and help you with it before you do serious damage.

Ephesians 4:29-30 (New Century Version)

"When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God's proof that you belong to Him."

The priority of loving my husband in word and in action has really hit home with me the last five years. I've had a close friend my age who lost her spouse to an extremely rare disease in just moments, another who almost lost her husband to a stroke a few months ago, and an aunt who lost her husband to a heart attack at work one day (she already lost another husband to cancer). As a matter of fact, all three of them read my blog regularly, and I pray it doesn't pain them to read this. I do not want to take a single day for granted. I want to love my Brian with all the love the Father has given me for as much time as He has given me.

So, sweet talk? Yes. Just do it! Whether you talk with your words or with your actions--show your hubby that you love him, value him, appreciate him in the way he will hear it. And in doing so, may it make the Lord smile instead of grieve over what He has brought together.

In the Key of HE,

At the Well of Titus 2

I'm participating in an incredible new meme on Mondays created by Chelsey at Joyfully Living. It is called "At the Well: In Pursuit of Titus 2." Please click on this beee-auteeful button if you would like to find out more or participate. It is a privilege to be a part of:

Today's discussion question is as follows:

What does being a Titus 2 woman mean to you?

I've prayed about this question as I've pored over the verses. Chelsey is not asking me, "What does Titus 2 mean?" or "What does Titus 2 teach?" She's asking, "What does being a Titus 2 woman mean to me?

Depending on what mood I'm in, I could answer this question in a hundred different ways. It's an incredible question. But here's my brilliant answer for today.

To me, being a Titus 2 woman means
being a woman who waits at the well.

To keep from slandering, to run from addictions, to teach and train younger women and children, to be self-controlled, to be pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to my husband...to be all those things makes me want to find a brown paper bag to breathe in really fast requires my willingness to wait on the Lord at the well. See, when I come to Jesus empty, thirsty, useless, needy and dependent, He will be my source for Godly living. It is His grace and His gift of salvation that makes it so:

Titus 2:11-14, NIV says, "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good."

I've played the tapes back time and again in my mind. Whenever I've tried to live righteously without Jesus as the source of it, I've capital-F Failed. Whenever I've depended on Jesus and trusted Him to live righteously through me, I've walked in VICTORY (and by the way, it IS possible to live in victory even when I'm having a bad day, or going through a season of trials...it doesn't mean I'm all smiles. It just means I'm God-strong).

I wish I could say that I am that Titus 2 woman at the well every single moment of every day, but...well, I wanna be. And I want to wanna be more than ever before.

How about you? What does being a Titus 2 woman look like to you? Go sign the Mr. Linky on Chelsey's page and give the question a poke or two on your blog. And we'll be women at the well of Titus 2 together today.