older been-married-awhile wife, sometimes the call comes to talk to the younger still-new-at-this wife. Cindy at CindyBeall.com didn't leave me a choice, either, because we are meeting her as the host of Chelsey's At the Well meme today. Cindy's topic and questions for discussion are as follows:
Marriage - Building Up Your Spouse
Your Discussion Question:
How well do you sweet-talk your spouse?
What are some things you can say TODAY to let your spouse know that you think the world of them?
For once, I'm excited that there is a topic that I'm actually pretty good at. Cooking, blech! Sewing, huh? Ironing, I plead the 5th. But I do believe that if you were to ask Brian if I build him up appropriately with words, he would give a resounding "Absolutely." That's because I have the spiritual gift of encouragement.
Unfortunately, Brian is kind of the opposite. He would much rather me SHOW him how much I think about him than hear me say it any day. If I tell him I'm happy to see him and give him a smooch, then get back on my laptop, he's not feelin' the love, you know? If I greet him at the door in my favorite comfy tshirt and stretchy shorts, well...let's just put it this way. He doesn't complain, but he certainly notices when I groom myself before he pulls in the driveway.
That said, I know not every husband is this way, and no matter what the love language, NO SPOUSE WANTS TO BE SHREDDED to bits or nagged the majority of the time. Some women have allowed it to become habit to tear their spouses apart with their words, often not even realizing that's what they're doing. I cannot encourage you enough, if you think you could at all be nicknamed "Nagatha," to think and pray the Lord would show this to you and help you with it before you do serious damage.
Ephesians 4:29-30 (New Century Version)
"When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God's proof that you belong to Him."
The priority of loving my husband in word and in action has really hit home with me the last five years. I've had a close friend my age who lost her spouse to an extremely rare disease in just moments, another who almost lost her husband to a stroke a few months ago, and an aunt who lost her husband to a heart attack at work one day (she already lost another husband to cancer). As a matter of fact, all three of them read my blog regularly, and I pray it doesn't pain them to read this. I do not want to take a single day for granted. I want to love my Brian with all the love the Father has given me for as much time as He has given me.
So, sweet talk? Yes. Just do it! Whether you talk with your words or with your actions--show your hubby that you love him, value him, appreciate him in the way he will hear it. And in doing so, may it make the Lord smile instead of grieve over what He has brought together.
In the Key of HE,