A Borrowed Bit of Wit

I'm sure I'm not the only one to do a blog on this. I went to chase down the actual source, and it was all over the internet, except of course, at the Washington Post (which I would link you to if I could find it). Supposedly, this is a list of last year's (2007) Washington Post annual neologism contest winners. In the contest, readers are asked to submit alternate meanings for common words. I thought some of these were hilarious, but I also had to take out several of them, because they made my Lifesong go beep-de-beeeeeeep...so you're getting the clean ones, okay?


Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up on to your garage roof and gets stuck there.

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2007 winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (my personal favorite)

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit) deserves a whole blog about it

Karmageddon (n): it’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer. *bold star for drama

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. (I've done this!)

Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

Okay, so I thought it would be fun if you had any words to add to either list, OR just tell me which ones were your favorite? Purty please...Oh, and keep it clean. My teenage son reads these and a bunch of other Christian people, so... I'm trying to think of some. Get me started.