Saturday, August 16, 2008

A Borrowed Bit of Wit

I'm sure I'm not the only one to do a blog on this. I went to chase down the actual source, and it was all over the internet, except of course, at the Washington Post (which I would link you to if I could find it). Supposedly, this is a list of last year's (2007) Washington Post annual neologism contest winners. In the contest, readers are asked to submit alternate meanings for common words. I thought some of these were hilarious, but I also had to take out several of them, because they made my Lifesong go you're getting the clean ones, okay?

Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up on to your garage roof and gets stuck there.

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2007 winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. (my personal favorite)

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit) deserves a whole blog about it

Karmageddon (n): it’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer. *bold star for drama

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. (I've done this!)

Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

Okay, so I thought it would be fun if you had any words to add to either list, OR just tell me which ones were your favorite? Purty please...Oh, and keep it clean. My teenage son reads these and a bunch of other Christian people, so... I'm trying to think of some. Get me started.

7 friends shared a comment:

Homesteader in Training said...

Those are too funny. I'll have to think on that but my favorite one was probably the Arachnoleptic fit, cause I've done the spider web dance lol.
Am I rubbing off on you my friend? LOL! Don't you love humor.

Patty Wysong said...

ROFL--This is too funny, LaLee!! I was giggling by the end, which is pretty good 'cuz I'm dwelling in the bozone layer these days!!


Donna said...

ROFL!!!! I found your blog via Kim's. You said you wanted her readers to wander over here, so I trotted right over. I love, love, love words-plays! Thank you for my chuckles of the day!

Joanne Sher said...

ROFL - and you warned me I'd have to do this, and i haven't thought of IDEA one. Maybe I'll be back with the "zinger" that comes to me in my sleep ;)

Stacy said...

TOO FUNNY! I don't know that I have a favorite, however decafalon is pretty good, I think I may start using that one! I have been known to call one of my daughters a teenrager when they are in one of their moods! They of course do not think it is funny.

The Surrendered Scribe said...

Love it. I think I had to go with your favorite 2007 one too, if only...

I can't think of any off hand, but on a totally different word funny, I used to watch as a kid that show called Sniglets. My favorite was "quitter" those are socks that lost the elastic...!

Karen said...

I have to agree with Kim... arachnoleptic fit definitly triggered an out loud laugh reaction as nostalgic memories of such dances tickled my funny bone! Thanks for the giggles!! You know I need it!!
Love you,