"Set Apart" Series, Part Three: Confessions & Questions

I have a confession to make: I'm at a place in life where I have more questions than answers about what it means to live the "set apart" life. Let me just share with you a handful of Scriptures regarding living out our faiths in the world.

We are "the light of the world." Matthew 5:14

We are to "go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." Mark 16:15

We as disciples of Christ are to "be brought to complete unity to let the world know" that Jesus loves them. John 17:23

We're not to "conform any longer to the pattern of this world," but to test and approve what God's perfect will is. Romans 12:2

The Bible teaches us to "say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and Godly lives in this present age." Titus 2:11

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

"Friendship with the world is hatred toward God." James 4:4

"Do not love the world or anything in the world." 1 John 2:15

The verses go on and on, and it is very clear to me that God wants me in this world, sharing my story and letting His light shine in and through me. At the same time, He wants me to live a holy, blameless life, set apart for Him. For me, the rub comes while I'm trying to live these Truths out practically. Just when I think I've got a grasp on the balance in the two, something comes along to drive me back to my knees asking.

Living out the "set apart" life starts with confessing I have no idea how to do so. I need the Lord's wisdom, discernment and leading. As I pause and ponder, I also pray and praise, knowing that I'll only have what I need if I ask the Lord to provide it for me.

As I've shared from my gut with the Lord this week, here are some of the questions I've thrown out at him:
How can I be holy & blameless without clinging to legalism?
How can I be a light in this world without some of the darkness absorbing me?
Can I be out among those lost without becoming consumed by self-righteousness and judgment?
When something unfamiliar & scary comes along, will I trust You to help me face it, or will I try to protect myself?
Am I too wealthy, God? Do I need to give up more of my possessions?
How do I reach out to the hurting without their hurts consuming my heart and mind?
Is it okay to relax and have pleasure, or should I use every waking moment to reach others?
What in the world do I do with all this technology, God? What is the balance?

I'm back to the beginning in saying that I have more questions than answers, but I know as I continue to seek the Lord, He will teach me His heart. I'm skeptical of anyone who says they've got it all figured out, because I truly believe that the more we grow in our faith walks, the more questions we have, and the deeper they are.

I also believe this is where grace comes in. So many times, we use grace as our "get out of sin free" card, and it is true that when we repent, His forgiveness is readily available to us. But the deeper part of grace is that when we want to live righteously and falter out of ignorance or immaturity, His grace is there to meet us when we hit our knees asking the whys and hows. I love the way the Message puts it for us in Romans 8:26-28:

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting,

God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along.

If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter.

He does our praying in and for us,

making prayer out of our wordless sighs,

or aching groans.

He knows us far better than we know ourselves,

knows our pregnant condition,

and keeps us present before God.

That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives

of love for God is worked into something good."

It all goes back to the Lord. (Doesn't it always?) I'm so thankful He loves me enough to help me sort through my weaknesses, my wonderings, my wanderings. I praise Him that He takes my desire to please Him and brings it in line with the will of the Father as I surrender to the Holy Spirit. "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

What are some of the deep wonderings and ponderings in your faith walk?

A Message Worthy of an Encore

Reading through my Message Bible yesterday, this passage stopped my heart. The Lord had some work to do in me.

It was pause-worthy.

1st Peter 4:7-11
"Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless--cheerfully. Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: If words, let it be words; if help, let it be God's hearty help. That way, God's bright presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and He'll get all the credit as the One mighty in everything--encores to the end of time. Oh, yes!"

So many applications jump out at me, and I'm caught off-guard by the depth of them. 

"Stay wide awake in prayer."

This doesn't mean stay up all night. Rather, each situation I face can be one in which to pray through or over. Every person I meet can be one to bathe in prayer. Of course I'm not necessarily going to grab their hand and start praying out loud with him or her, but in my mind, heart & soul, I can pray to the One who knows them intimately.

"Love as if my life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything."

It's intentional. Urgent. Insistent. Christ's love in and through me is miraculous, and it is to be showered on others. This kind of love is really important to the Lord, and it is the kind of love He lavished on me.

"Be generous with the different things God gave me..."

I always want to give my money away and buy people things, but am I generous with my words? With tangible help? With prayer? With His message? Am I generous in love?

All of it is so that "God's bright presence will be evident in everything." 

I pray that I will never feel entitled to someone else's applause or love in return to what I give out. When I'm serving others because I love Christ, then I expect nothing in return. If I'm loving His way, the receiver experiences God's presence. Period.

I pondered:

How many times do I "love" someone until they say something that hurts or offends me? 

How often do I count what others have or have not done for me based on what I've done for them?

Do I hope deep down for applause? An encore even?

Have I grown complacent in praying for others?

Am I sometimes numb to the needs of others?

Even more deeply, I pondered:

There is so much pain. How can I possibly meet all the needs around me? What are the boundaries?

Are there things I spend my time on that are fruitless which could be shoved aside to obey in these areas?

How are these verses lived out practically in my season of life as well as the way He's wired me?

I praise the Lord for helping me come up to answers to these things inside my heart and mind, at least for now.  I'd share them, but His answers may be different for you.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that I pray my hands & feet & mouth & heart & mind would give the Lord the renown He is due...that His light would beam through me, making His sacrificial love evident to all.

May it be so, Lord. I lift my hands in praise, giving You an encore with my everyday living. You are mighty to do so in me as I stay surrendered to You.

How do these verses cause you to ponder in your life? 

Growing Up is Hard To Do

~Pause~

“I tell you the truth, when you were younger, 

you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; 

but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, 

and someone else will dress you and lead you 

where you do not want to go. 

Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death 

by which Peter would glorify God. 

Then He said to him, ‘Follow Me!”

John 21:18-19

~~~~

It seems as though Jesus would have said everything He had to say to His disciples before He died. But He was gracious enough to show Himself to them after His “mysterious disappearance” from the grave. He didn’t just appear to them, he ate with them and told them what to do next…several times. 

Of all the disciples, Peter probably needed to see Jesus the most…not because he loved Jesus more than the others, but because He was in need of reassurance after he had told Jesus he would be faithful, only to deny him three times. Jesus has the familiar conversation with Peter: The “Do you love me?” question series….all three times Jesus asks him the question, Peter pledges his love to Him—“Lord, you know that I love You.”

The next verses, the ones listed above, are those that really strike me in this conversation. Isn’t this the case with us, though? “…when you were younger, you dressed yourself and went where you wanted…” When we were young Christians, and some of us still are, we pretty much did what was expected of any new believer…we began to live a “Christian life.”

“…but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands…” The more we mature in our faith, however, the more out of OUR control our lives become. We begin to learn the process of suffering, of depending on Him for our next move, and of giving up the more meaningless methods of coping with life.

Just as Jesus stretched out His hands, let others clothe Him, and allowed Himself to be led to the cross, we too will learn to give ourselves up and be led for Kingdom purposes as we become “older” in our faiths. What is really surreal is that each one of us will learn to die to ourselves in different ways. God is creative as He works on us…His masterpiece, His creation. AND…it may take more time on some of us than others to lead us to that place of spiritual old age with Him.

As Peter and Jesus were having this conversation, the verse goes on to tell us what John was doing: “Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them…when Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him?’ Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? YOU must follow me.’” In other words, we can’t compare our walk with Him to anyone else’s. He is very clear—YOU must follow Him.

Isn’t it cool that John didn’t even have to be asked… He just followed. John followed Him during His ministry, he followed Him at His death, and He followed Him the rest of His life. Let’s ask God to help us do the same….hopefully, without being asked to do so over and over.

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

Will you consider pondering the verses above, as well as the following passage in Mark? Then as He leads, pray...ask Him to teach you from His heart today...

Mark 8:34 -35 says: 

"Then He called the crowd to Him along with His disciples

 and said: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself

 and take up his cross and follow me. 

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, 

but whoever loses his life for me 

and for the gospel will save it.’”

What does “losing your life for the gospel” mean to you? 

What cross has He given you to carry as you follow Him?

Brook Howell Shares Her Story

It's day number ELEVEN, out of all eleven salvation testimonies shared on Selah these past 2 weeks. I am so truly thankful for each and every guest contributor, and I hope it has caused your heart to pause, ponder and praise the Giver of eternal life in Him!

Meet Brook. Her heart for outreach and discipleship shine through her story, and I can't wait to share it with you...

A New Creation
by Brook Howell

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 

the old has gone, the new has come!" 

2 Corinthians 5:17

As the weather has turned from cold and dreary to sunny and breezy, my mood has changed from depressed to hopeful. As I was pondering this change today and how much I was acting like my "normal" goofy, off the wall odd-ball self, I thought of the verse above.

Sixteen years ago, there was an even bigger shift in my life. A shift that gives new meaning to "the old has gone, the new has come!"

I grew up in a small town in Northeast Nebraska of approximately 600. There were 15 students in my graduating class. For generations, my family had attended the Lutheran church. I went to Sunday School, learned many Bible stories, was confirmed and intellectually knew all about God. But I didn't "know" God in a personal way.

After I graduated from high school, I moved to Lincoln and attended the University. I was so blessed to move into Love Hall on East Campus with 40-50 other women where we cooked and cleaned for ourselves so that our expenses were less. Many of the women I lived with attended Bible Studies and rallies through the Navigators. The Navigators are a Christian outreach ministry to many different places such as university campuses. Their mission is to help bring people to Christ and equip them to serve and grow in their walk with the Lord.

During my first year of college, I attended Bible Studies, rallies and church with several of the women from Love Hall. As the weeks and months of my freshmen year went by I began to see that my life was different from these women. I wasn't exactly sure how or why, but felt a strong desire to have what they had.

That winter I remember being sick of my negativity and the judgmental way I responded to people. The day after attending a formal with a group of people from Navigators, I sat in my room contemplating. My mind whirled with thoughts and as most undergraduates do, I focused on my future. What did my future hold? Did I want my life to continue on the same path I was on at the time?

I considered what knew about God. In my mind, I knew that God had sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross for the sin of the world. But I didn't take that promise personally.

As I thought about what was going on in my life and what I saw in the new friends I had, I knew the time had come to ask the questions out loud that I had been chewing on for months. In Love Hall, we had big sisters or mentors. I went in search of my mentor, but she was out. Instead I talked to her room ate, Jodi.

Jodi listened as I talked about what was going on in my life. I don't remember details of what happened in their room that day, but I do remember how I suddenly came to realize that God loves me - Brook - and that He sent Jesus to earth to die for my sins. Wow! How could I not accept this great gift?

Jodi led me in the sinner's prayer. It went something like this - Lord, I am a sinner and need you to forgive me. Please come into my heart and help me to live for you. On March 16, 1993, I became a new creation! The old was gone, the new had come!

I can't say there were fireworks after that moment, but my life did change. Like the metamorphosis of a butterfly, I felt like I had escaped my cocoon and was free to fly! I was no longer a plain colored caterpillar or pupa, but a beautiful butterfly. I no longer had the heaviness of being bound, but the lightness of being free.

When we open our lives and our hearts to God and let Him transform us, the results are so much more than we could ever dream or imagine.

Some Bible verses that I clung to during those first days were these:

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

and Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Have you made the personal decision to ask God to transform your life? Have you asked God to come into your heart, change you and make you? Have you asked Him to forgive you and cleanse you of your sins?

If not, why not make a decision during this time of renewal, of new growth, in this season of spring?

If you haven't made God Lord of your life and you'd like to, simply follow the steps that I did sixteen years ago. Open your heart and speak words to God from your heart. If you need help, you can use words like these...God, I know that I am a sinner in need of forgiveness. I believe that your Son, Jesus, came and died for my sins. Please forgive me, come into my life and help me to live for you. Amen.

If you made this decision right now or anytime in the past, welcome to the kingdom! Please know that whether you share this decision with me personally or not, please find a church and get plugged in. Following the Lord is the most amazing journey you will experience and it has eternal benefits!

God's Word also holds so many promises for you as a new believer. If you don't already have a Bible, please find one in a translation that's easy to understand like the New International Version (NIV) or New Living Translation (NLT) and begin reading in the book of John in the New Testament. I would also suggest reading a Psalm or a Proverb a day for encouragement.

During the next few weeks I will be sharing the ways that I have used to draw near to God. No matter where you are in your relationship with the Savior, I hope these resources will help and encourage you to draw near to God as He draws near to you. (See Brooke's blog for these resources...)

Dear Lord, thank you for the gift of Jesus. I cannot image how it grieved you to give your only Son for the sin of the World. Savior, please work in our hearts and help us to be mindful of this great gift each and every day of our lives. Help us to seek you first in all we do. Love us and grow us to be more like You. Motivate us to spend time with you in prayer, in your Word, in worship and in many other ways that increase our love for you. As we seek you, let us know your will for our lives so that we can live and serve in ways that bring you glory always. In your name we praise, Amen

Brook Howell is a child of God who desires to know Him, to encourage others in their walk with the Savior and to live up to the high calling of a woman of prayer.  Raised in Nebraska and transplanted in Missouri, Brook has been married to her "techie" husband for nine years and together they have journeyed through infertility, loss, and Brook's battle with depression.  Brook is a former teacher, current foster mother, future West Highland White Terrier breeder and professional counseling graduate student.  The promise she clings to is Isaiah 58:11 (NIV) which says, "The LORD will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."

Karen/Irritable Mother Shares Her Story

It's day number NINE out of eleven salvation testimonies to be shared on Selah the days leading up to and just after Easter. I can't think of a better way to celebrate His resurrection than hearing God-stories of souls raised from death to life. So pause. Ponder what He has done. Then praise Him!!!!

I was excited when Karen offered up her salvation testimony, first of all because I thought it was AWESOME to have a story from someone whose profile name was "Irritable Mother," lol (later to find out that she has a book with that in the title), but mainly because I think there are many people out there who think they believe who haven't truly started a relationship with Jesus Christ. I'll zip my lips now, and let Karen tell her story. I was blessed.


My Love Story
by Karen Hossink
I grew up in the church. Attended worship services most Sundays (Except when I could convince my mom I was just too tired to get up), participated in the youth choirs, went to summer church camp seven years in a row, and was active in the youth group. Somehow, though, I missed the memo that I needed to receive Jesus personally.

I knew the Christmas and Easter stories. I understood that Jesus came to earth to be the Savior of the world and that He died to pay the price for our sins. I believed He was resurrected on the third day and later ascended into heaven. I "got" all that. And I thought that was enough. Thought I was covered and good to go, because Jesus did what He needed to do.

And that is all Jesus meant to me for the first 18 years of my life.

He was God and He was Man. He was the Savior of the world, even. But to me, there was nothing personal about Him at all. Jesus was more like a fact of history to me. Someone who lived long ago and did a wonderful thing, but who really wasn't relevant to my life "today."

Oh, there were times when I paid more attention to Him. Like when I had a couple different boyfriends in high school. One was a pastor's kid and another was a nice "church boy." And when I was going out with those guys I certainly had a greater interest in God things.

With the pastor's kid, I learned lots of nice Christian songs and went with him to a senior center to sing them. We did stuff with his youth group and I was happy to sit and listen to the leader's talk about God. When I was seeing the church boy, I went with him to his church and Sunday school. I talked the talk, and thought I was a nice church girl, too.

But when those relationships ended, so did my attention to "God." (I put His name in quotes, because now I know I wasn't truly paying attention to Him.)

Then I went to college.
And I met a guy.
And he was cute.

He asked me if I went to church and, of course, I said yes. OK, so I hadn't been to church since college started, but that wasn't what he asked. And when he asked if I would like to go with him sometime, of course I said I would love to. I mean, he was cute, and I'd been through that drill a couple times before. The guy likes God, so you do church things with him, and everyone is happy.

I had no idea my life was about to turn around.

This guy wasn't like the others. He didn't just "go" to church. He talked about why he went. He asked me questions about why I attended church. He read the Bible with me. And talked about it. I had no idea you could have a conversation about what the Bible says!

And this is the part that really threw me for a loop. This guy seemed more interested in me - I mean, Karen. The person inside my body. - than in this cute little body I was walking around in. (Trust me, it was cuter 19 years and three kids ago!) So there I was, blown away by this guy who seemed to really believe in God. Whose faith in God mattered outside of Sunday morning. And who looked at me differently than any other guy I'd ever known. I was falling in love with him, and I wanted to hear what he had to say about this church thing.

As I listened, I came to understand I was missing something. While it was true that what Jesus did on the cross was "enough," I finally realized there was something I needed to do. I needed to respond. I needed to confess my sin and admit my need for a Savior. And I needed to receive Jesus into my life as that Savior. I already knew He was the Savior of the world. Now I needed to accept Him as my Savior.

And this is where I like to say the love of my life introduced me to an even Greater Love.

But remember? I had been through the drill before. Like the guy, like his God. But when you break up, so goes the God thing?

Not this time.

Several months - maybe a year - later the thought occurred to me, Even if he and I break up, this relationship I have with God through Jesus is not going to end! Our relationship was personal. He was finally real to me. I cannot describe the joy that understanding brought to my heart.

In the end, breaking up wasn't an issue, anyway. I married that "guy."

And so my love story continues...

When she isn't dealing with pre-teen drama, looking for lost socks, or solving third-grade math problems, Karen Hossink likes to spend time speaking and writing. Karen's quirky sense of humor, life experiences, and honest confessions - combined with the goodness of God – have been encouraging audiences since 2005. Whether you're reading her books or her blog, or listening to her speak, after spending time with Karen you will be assured of two things: You are not alone, and God is good!

Marita Thelander Shares Her Story

It's day number SEVEN out of eleven salvation testimonies to be shared on Selah the days leading up to and just after Easter. I can't think of a better way to celebrate His resurrection than hearing God-stories of souls raised from death to life. So pause. Ponder what He has done. Then praise Him!!!!

Today, Marita Thelander shares her salvation story. I love watching her go through the process of owning her faith, but to see her personality shine through it all is an added bonus for sure. It will be obvious to you as you read that one of her many God-given gifts is writing stories. I pray this ministers to you. May God receive the glory!


I CHOOSE
by Marita Thelander

At nine-years-old, I nervously picked at my fingernails in the front seat of the Grand Torino station wagon as my mom drove me to the church on a warm August morning. The car pulled up the little slope of the parking lot and my tummy did a flip-flop, somersault, and then landed in a thud when she stopped near the bus.

Sandy and Carol ran to greet me. “This is going to be so much fun,” Sandy exclaimed. She always had a flare for the dramatics. Tall and skinny Carol just smiled. Her eyes showed the excitement more than Sandy’s mouth blabbed it.

My mom handed the adult in charge my permission slip and the driver whisked away my belongings. My friends waited patiently as I gave my mom a hug and accepted her last minute “behave” talk.

On the bus, Sandy opened a duffle bag stuffed full of a variety of snacks. “The food at camp is gross, so my mom sends me with stuff she knows I like so I won’t starve.”

“If you would learn to eat real food, you wouldn’t starve,” Carol spoke for the first time.

I turned to wave at my mom as the bus pulled out of the parking lot. Being the youngest of six kids, I had seen all my siblings get to go off on adventures. This would be a new experience for me. Excitement, mixed with fear of the unknown, threatened to cause tears to slip down my face.

Camp had a lot of fun things, and, like at home, I blended into the background, unnoticed.


From as early as I could remember, I had been a compliant child. At the end of my Kindergarten year, my teacher told my mom I should be held back a year. “She is so small and I don’t think she has learned anything,” Mrs. Anderson had told my mom over the phone.

“Are you sure?” My mom asked in disbelief. “She reads out loud to me when I’m ironing or doing dishes.”

After some persuasion, Mrs. Andersen agreed to have me tested. Not only could I read, but my math and reading skills were mid to post first grade level.

On the way home from the test, my mom asked me, “Why didn’t you tell Mrs. Andersen you could read?”

I shrugged my thin shoulders and simply answered, “On the first day of school she told us to sit down and be quiet. So I did.”


So, the words of the speaker one night in chapel, caught my attention. I sat up straight and tried to focus on what he had to say. “If your mama makes it to heaven it is because of a choice she made to accept Christ as her Savior. You can’t make it to heaven on your mama’s apron strings.”

I sat on the edge of my seat in an attempt to ignore Sandy’s constant whispers and doodles.

“Your parents make choices for you. What to eat. What to wear,” he continued, “but choosing Christ as your Savior is a choice only you can make.”

Being the youngest of six, I always did what I was told. I had three sisters that were nineteen, eighteen, and sixteen and two brothers that were thirteen and eleven. Everyone made my choices for me, and not always good choices, either. Good or bad, I complied.

“Tonight you can choose to accept Christ,” the speaker began his altar call.

I had accepted Christ before in Children’s Church…and Sunday School…and VBS…and Missionettes. Pretty much, anytime the sinner’s prayer had been offered, I prayed it.

He invited those who wanted to accept Christ to come forward, and instructed the adults to leave us alone. “They are old enough to make this choice on their own. They are old enough to say the words themselves.”

I knelt near a post at the far end of the altar area and found my own words to ask Jesus to forgive me and become my Savior. I didn’t want to leave the sweet presence I experienced for the first time ever.

I searched for new words to express myself to God. Tears slipped down my chubby cheeks. I heard myself speak louder with boldness and raised my hands in simple praise.

A woman slipped her arm around me and asked, “Is this the first time you have spoken in tongues, Sweetie?”

I wiped my face. “In what?”

She gently hugged me and whispered, “Stay close to Him. He has a special purpose for you.”

When I went home, I told no one of my camp experience. I had been a good secret keeper all my life. My commitment to Christ had been my choice. A choice no one could take away from me.

Marita is a middle-aged woman who thrives on her husband’s love, mixed with generous portions of good chocolate and daily lattes. She serves beside her husband as they pastor a small church in the mountain community of Randle, nestled among the Cascade foothills in Washington.

Married for 27 years, she has three adult children, two of which are married. While she never liked the title of mother-in-law, Marita does enjoy the new season of life called Gramma-in-luv. With five grandchildren under the age of three, Marita feels she taught her children the concept of loving their spouses quite well.

In the past year, Marita began to pursue a long hidden desire to write. She has treasured friendships that have developed over the internet that share the same passion for writing and sharing God’s love. If she can get her ADD, middle-aged, menopausal mind to focus once in awhile, she may actually accomplish something.

You can find more of her written works at Faithwriters.com or at her blog, Mari-flower.

Bernice Shares Her Story

It's day number SIX out of eleven salvation testimonies to be shared on Selah the days leading up to and just after Easter. I can't think of a better way to celebrate His resurrection than hearing God-stories of souls raised from death to life. So pause. Ponder what He has done. Then praise Him!!!!

My precious sister in Christ, Bernice, shared her story through the posting of some of my questions. I was incredibly moved by her life of courage and faith.

How old were you when someone first told you about Jesus?

To believe in Jesus Christ and to look up to God for help and guidance in your life was learned to me just like learning to read and write.This is a huge blessing and privilege. I got awesome examples by strong, godly women ( My grandmother, her sister and"Nene Dina") and a godly man, my grandfather. I was always prayed for, even when i left my birthcountry all by myself. The BEST advice my grandma gave me was "ALWAYS take your Bible and pray"!

When did you become open to the gospel?

I was always open to the gospel as a child. God was my living reality. I love reading and telling stories, so the stories from the Children's Bible, I could tell out of my head. I remember as a teen i wanted to read "the real Bible" from beginning to end. My grandfather frequently read passages to me and we talked about them.

In my teen time i went to Youth services in other Christian denominations, because i started coming up against the "kind of set liturgic services" and the common songs from the 17th and 18th centuries......

What compelled you to give your life over to Jesus?

It was a vibrant experience of God's Spirit in a youth group in the same denomination i was baptized as a child, but now living in Holland. I left my birthcountry when i was 18yo age. I made my commitment to follow Jesus when i was 21.

What Scriptures were particularly meaningful to you?

My favorite book is Isaiah, which is about HOPE to me.....
Isaiah 40:31, "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
I was and am always intriged by the HOPE we can have as Christians for living this life out of restoration, and after this Life with Him and All who died in Him!

When did you finally start living out your faith?

In my married life and this last year I was compelled to hold on to His Promises for His Children more.

What changed inside of you?

I accepted Jesus Christ when I was active in the Youth group because I realized that God's Spirit lives in people. I saw it, I felt it, I accepted the gospel that "He is the only way to God." I realised also around that time that I embraced other thoughts in my teens going to adolescent that were not endorsed by The living God the God of Jesus Christ.

How do you think your life is different since you made Jesus the Lord of it?

When I started living it, it was the moment i stopped ONLY believing in Jesus Christ and began to confess and realize that I need a SAVIOR. I can't live Godly out of my own strength. In that season of my life as a mother ( of toddlers) and married, I felt I came totally short. I found a verse of Apostle Paul and realized then the depth of it....

Romans 7:21-23 (The Message)
"It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge."

Gods spirit urges me to grow...to pray without ceasing for myself for my family. I felt totally inadequate, and I was "housebound," only in loose contact with my church family.

But in the midst of this my relationship with the Lord began to grow, and He started to "weed" in our lives and plant new seeds.

I found a book along the way, "The Power of A Praying Wife" from Stormie Omartian....and praying those Scriptural prayers helped me to focus on GOD's PLAN for me, my dh's and my family. I was directed to His WORD, and I can testify that God is faithful. He answered in His time each and every prayer that I sent up to Him......and also the prayers sent up by my "Granny," who followed and blessed me through my whole life.

My marriage is stronger than ever, my husband is drawn to God more than ever, my kids love the Lord and learn about Him-- and I'm challenged now more than ever to become the P31 woman, the best I can be for HIM who restored me and gave me HOPE for now and everyday!

Bernice is 42 and went to live in Holland all by herself when she was just 18-years-old to study becoming a beautician. Her parents had  their own beauty business in her birth country, Surinam ( above Brazil), and she was their only child. After some years, Bernice changed her mind and chose to study for nursing. She works now part-time with the elderly in a home facility in Holland for already 18 years. Along those years she met her dh's, who is a "nail artist" (stylist). Beside working part-time, they opened a "head to toe" beauty business in the "Heart of Amsterdam." They worked together until their second child was born and he had all his beauty diplomas. Presently, Bernice is working with the elderly alone part-time and spends the rest of her time being a mum and housewife. You can find her blog at My Journey.

Melissa Shares Her Story...Tissue Warning!

It's day number FIVE out of eleven of salvation testimonies to be shared on Selah the days leading up to and just after Easter. I can't think of a better way to celebrate His resurrection than hearing God-stories of souls raised from death to life. So pause. Ponder what He has done. Then praise Him!!!!

Meet Melissa, aka Multi-Tasking Mama from The Feel Chic Boutique. Her testimony brought me tears over tragedy and tears over triumph. It moved my soul to see the Lord's provision through her circumstances. Grab a kleenex and prepare your heart for some yanking...

***
Last year I did a Beth Moore study called "Believing God." That study changed my relationship with God in so many awesome ways that I don’t have room to list here. But one thing that came to mind, when the Lord asked me where did He and I start, is a section in the book called "Believing God Has Been There All Along." I was able to really heal in so many ways, especially unresolved anger towards God, through that specific chapter. Beth and I had a lot in common in that there were so many things about my life that I would rather not remember, that caused me inexplicable pain and that made me angry at God for many years.

And just as Beth taught in the study, if you internalize such experiences they will only stay submerged for so long. Trauma will surface in all sorts of ways- anger, physical illness, relationship issues, the list goes on. So the study taught us to allow the Holy Spirit to support us as we go back and look at those experiences through a different lens. (Psalms 77:11-12) We can find treasure in the midst of mud. Do you know how many rocks have to be turned before they find gold?

I do not want to in any way suggest that this process is easy or quick- in fact I am still going through it- but it is so worth it to look back and realize that our Savior was watching over us long before we realized it. I hope my story encourages you to go back and review the testimonies of your own life- it will strengthen your faith walk immensely.

I was born in 1979 to parents who had issues. Join the club, right? My dad was mentally ill and un-medicated, or I should say self medicated. My mom did not have the emotional capacity to stand up to him. So the early years of my life were an unpredictable roller coaster of experiences I was too little to control.

When my father was in an overly religious phase we wore skirts to our knees, hair to my waste and grew our own food. When he was not in a religious phase he was doing drugs and acting psychotic. He took the concept of helping people to the extreme (as he did everything else) so instead of giving money to the homeless on his way to work in DC he would bring them home to live with us. There were dangerous and scary people in and out of my home on a regular basis. Those people were not always kind to me and my little brothers and we were subjected to sexual abuse by more than one of the people. This went on until I was nine years old and we ended up moving to West Virginia because one of the men that lived with us at the time tried to kill my mother and kidnap my brothers and I.

That takes me to believing and knowing that God has been there all along. One of the ways I know this is that my mom and dad were not the only two people in the room when I was born. My paternal grandfather was also there and my grandmother was on her way. He says I looked right into his eyes and I have been his little girl ever since. God knew that my parents wouldn’t have the ability to parent me adequately and so he sent me the two people that love me most in this world- my Mommom and Poppop. They have proved through so many seasons of my life to be the love of God in physical form! God was also in my house.

The human mind is an awesome complex creation that allowed me to escape feeling physical pain from things done to me as a child. I had a special place in my head where I could just feel like I was an observer rather than a participant. Only God can give a gift like that. In addition, the night that Ed tried to kill my mom, my dad wasn’t home and we were alone in the house with this man. But I had left something at school that day- I think I was in the third grade- and since I went to a small private school my teacher knew where we lived. When she didn’t get an answer on the telephone she came over. Her ringing our doorbell saved our lives and I know that was God.

We moved to West Virginia not long after that. When I was 12, a young kid off the streets moved in with us. My parents said his parents didn’t take good care of him (hello?). My mom was in another deep depression at that time so having another mouth to feed really didn’t affect me that much, but I was jealous of how much time this boy spent with my mom. We had to leave her alone because she was so emotionally fragile and I was taking care of my two little brothers and myself and the house and he got to go in my mom’s room all the time. It made me really mad. You have to understand that my father kept us very sheltered from the world- we lived out in the middle of nowhere and we were “homeschooled”, etc. The only people we knew were the people we went to church with when we went. And God was there-

Even though doctrinally I know now that church was erroneous, God was still there and I got to volunteer in the nursery, sing in the choir, sing special music, play the piano and play the hand bells. That was the only time in those years I got to be me. I really believe that maintained my composure and sanity through a difficult time and God gets all the glory for that.

Then one day my dad announced to me that my mom and this young boy were going to try to have a baby together, that the baby would call the boy Daddy and my dad Papa. I had always been the one to stand up to my dad when he acted nuts and this time was no exception. I told him all the ways that this was morally wrong and that I didn’t understand why he was talking like this. He told me that if I didn’t like it I could find somewhere else to live. I was 13. He said that if I told anyone what was going on he would kill himself.

That was a chance I was willing to take and I ran away when my dad was at work and called my grandparents to come pick me up. Once again God provided and they were there for me. I reported to a counselor they took me to what was going on- not knowing that what was occurring was a crime and that my family was about to implode.

My dad got wind that the cops were coming to arrest him and my mom and they left town. I was put in foster care. The foster family were Christians and their church accepted me with open arms and again I was singing and going to youth group. God provided.

My grandparents fought like crazy and within a year had custody of me. That was the time in my life that God gave me the opportunity to be a kid. I got to have sleep overs with my friends, go to the movies, eat meat, wear pants! It was great and I am so thankful I had that experience.

However, when I was just about to turn sixteen I found out my mom was getting ready to have a baby with the same young man (thankfully it hadn’t materialized before then). I was an adolescent girl that harbored a lot of anger and resentment towards my mom for choosing a relationship over her children so I left my grandparents and ran away to try to force my mom to be a mom. That lasted two weeks before she threw me out. And I was 16 and on my own.

God provided and I had a place to live with an ex of my dad’s. I got a job and thought I had everything figured out. I used guys for money, food and drugs and ended up pregnant. That was the first time in a long time I prayed. One of those God if you get me out of this mess I will be perfect forever prayers. I didn’t think God answered but now that Jared is here I know He was in control the whole time. Able to make all things right with His omnipotent power.

When I was pregnant with Jared I met Mike. We have been married for 12 years and have had Matthew as well. Mike adopted Jared and we ended up getting custody of, and I adopted Mike’s son from his first marriage in 1999. God orchestrated every move of that custody battle that started with a phone call from neighbor.

In the years that followed I faced cervical cancer- (God provided best doctors), life with my bonus son went downhill due to trauma and abuse he had suffered at the hands of his biological mother (strength to survive that only comes from God),and in the last two years we have faced the death of close loved ones (young and old), and my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in January 2008. Through it all God has been faithful.

My illness was God’s way of trying to get me to slow down and allow the Holy Spirit to do one of his most important jobs- (John 14:26) Allowing the Holy Spirit to be your counselor is one of the most healing things you can do. Slowly but surely- God will only reveal to you what you can handle- God is creating opportunities for me to remember, know that God remembered me then and he is remembering me now. I am better for all of it.

At this point in my life He has helped me realize that I am enough because He created me. I am loved, accepted and forgiven. I am an heir of God (romans 8:16,17) And the thing God has helped me do the most is forgive myself. I had shame, feelings of failure, if I coulda, should, woulda’s. God doesn’t do that folks and neither should we- there are no might have beens. God deals with our present and holds our future in His hands. Forgive yourself- it does NOT matter what you have done, what has been done to you- if he can send His own son to die on the cross for ALL our sins- yes even the ugly ones- the least we can do is offer that same forgiveness and mercy to others and ourselves.

I have recently reconciled with my father after thirteen years of not speaking, my mom and I have a great relationship and there will be more moments to come that He needs to reveal and shape and mold me into His will. Life is a journey- we don’t reach our final destination until heaven, so a year from now I will have a whole new testimony to share.

Allow God to continually work on you, if he reveals something that needs to be fixed be willing to do the work (whatever it is) to fix it. Do you need to form a new habit? Do you need to let bitterness go? Do you need to focus less on yourself and more on others? Whatever God reveals don’t fight it- let Him do His good work in and through you.

Psalm 27 is always of comfort to me and it tells us that God is always setting the stage for something greater in our lives than we are able to see through our momentary circumstances.

If you go back through the annals of your life you will see that God was and is there. This realization allowed me and it can allow you to really lean back into that love and trust that He will do what He says He will do. Nobody else in our life can offer us that- just God. Please, dear ones, whatever you are going through recognize that God is there with you. Lean on him and hold fast.

Melissa Smallwood (aka Multi-tasking Mama) has worked with seniors and families as a professional organizer for several years and is the owner of Organized Life by Design, LLC. She has an extensive human services background. She is also the mom of three active boys (one of which has special needs). She enjoys helping people get their lives, calendars and homes organized so that they have time to see and enjoy their blessings! Melissa also has a passion for cheap yet chic home décor and has many resources available for decorating your home on a budget. Melissa has written many articles on organizing for various websites and organizations including Online Organizing.com, Show Mom the Money, Ask Baby Kid, Dr. Mommy Says, Sassy Mamas, Pink Lemonade of Life and more.

Laurie Ann Shares Her Story

It's day number FOUR out of eleven of salvation testimonies to be shared on Selah the days leading up to and just after Easter. I can't think of a better way to celebrate His resurrection than hearing God-stories of souls raised from death to life. So pause. Ponder what He has done. Then praise Him!!!!

Laurie Ann from A Magnolia's Heart BeatALWAYS blesses me with her in-depth teaching as well as her vulnerable and genuine heart for Jesus Christ. Her testimony made my heart want to beat for Him all the more...

***

My Story/His Story
By Laurie Ann

I grew up in a Christian home. My mother sang of Jesus and read to me of Jesus before I even knew who she was talking about. I never remember a time of "not" knowing Jesus. I grew up singing of His love for me, my love for Him, Him having the whole world in His hands, Him loving the little children, loving him because He first loved me, and I never doubted that He did that. I don't ever remember "not" being in church. Mother and Daddy both made sure we were there every time the doors opened. They taught us about giving - I was always excited to put my quarters in the offering plate or in the envelope at Sunday School, and although I knew I was supposed to do it I didn't know why.

I grew up in the church. Sunday School, Mission Friends, GA's, Acteens, Youth Group, Church Choir, you name it, I was into it. I loved church. When I graduated from children's church to big church I remember the first time mother let me go to the sanctuary. The preacher preached on Isaiah 55 and when the preacher read, "Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not?" I raised my hand to answer him, LOL! I knew the answer and I wanted him to call on me so I could tell him that I knew that nothing satisfies us but God. I looked for Jesus in church, because that's where Momma said He lived. I knew He lived in my heart, too, but I wanted to see Him in His house and remember being disappointed that He was a no-show during the service.

When I was about 8 years old, after a particularly firey sermon that involved a fist banging on the pulpit, the invitation was given. A friend from school trotted down the aisle and I went right behind her. I wanted some of whatever she was getting. The preacher talked to me and I believe with all my heart that I was saved. I was baptized and so happy.

In my teens I began to not be as close to God as I was when I was younger. I was still in church but I was at the age to where Momma no longer held me and rocked me and sang of His love for me anymore. I had a Bible that was opened on Sundays and Wednesday nights and maybe Saturday evening to go over my SS lesson for the next day.

When I was about 14 the preacher asked a (what I now understood!) rhetorical question. It was, "If you died in a wreck after you left church right now where would you spend eternity?" Well, I wasn't sure at all. I mean, surely God would take me but after my teenage angst and ugliness?

There was ALOT of it. I wasn't as bad as some, but I caused all kinds of grief for my parents. Not drugs or promiscuous behavior, more emotional angst, I'd say. It's hard to go into because there was sort of a reason for it, but to bring it all back up would be to rip the scars off some almost-healed wounds. I'll say this. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 9. My father was a functioning alcholic (he's recovered now) who provided plenty of emotional and verbal abuse during my growing up years. I was well loved. Don't get me wrong. I understand now that it was more of an illness for him than an intentional thing. Mother was a gem. She tried her hardest to make a good life for us and I bucked her at every opportunity. I'm happy to say that they ultimately divorced and Daddy has since quit drinking. I have a sister who is almost 13 years younger, you see, who I didn't want to grow up the way I did. She was in 6th grade when they divorced. She caught alot of it but didn't have to live with it day in and day out. I'll be like Forrest Gump now and say, "That's all I've got to say about that."

So...I wasn't so sure about it the more I thought of it. I responded to the invitation and asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I went through some rough patches in life where I didn't not believe in Him but you sure couldn't have known He was a part of my life by the way I acted. Around the age of 17 we went to a retreat called Faith Week. I recommited my life to Him and have been assured of my salvation ever since.

My walk with God has taken different lanes in life but I have always known He was beside me and will never leave me or forsake me. I'm finally on the narrow path, now, and my whole trust is in Him. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He loves me and gave His life for me. He moved from my heart to my heart of hearts. He filled my mind, my heart, my very being with Himself and His love for me and made me want to share it with others.

Laurie Ann loves her family, her friends and sweet tea. She married her best friend 17 years ago and falls in love with him again each day. The nest is empty but fills up again and again with frequent visits from her bonus daughter, son-in-law and grandsons. Her heart beats to serve her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Please join her at her blog: A Magnolia's Heart Beats where her heart shines with humor, depth, authenticity and Truth in each and every post.

Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah BLOG

I read a whole blob of blogs the other day from a bunch of different sources, and for the first time in a long time I did what no writer should do. I compared. NOT a good idea. Won't go into the details of how that made me feel, but I know for sure those 'head hung low' thoughts and feelings were not from the Maker of my gifts and talents.

What's the point of keeping a blog anyway? Is there anything new under the sun? You know, not really. BUT, looking at slices of life through the grid of others in the Body of Christ can be like a Progressive Dinner if you allow the Lord to use them. You get your appetizer at this place--your lunch at another--every once in a while someone throws in a  cocktail--then dinner. After dessert at the last stop, you're stuffed!

The Lord reminded me this morning not to compare. Just fill up on Him and serve the food to whomever is hungry to receive it. This is the verse that lifted my chin from my neck in a way that only my Father could do:

I solemnly urge you in the presence of God and Christ Jesus, who will someday judge the living and the dead when he appears to set up His Kingdom: Preach the Word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebukeand encourage your people with good teaching. For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the Truth and chase after myths.

But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.

2 Timothy 4: 1-5 (NLT)

There's another blog for another day: Fully carrying out the ministry God has given me.