"Set Apart" Series, Part Three: Confessions & Questions

I have a confession to make: I'm at a place in life where I have more questions than answers about what it means to live the "set apart" life. Let me just share with you a handful of Scriptures regarding living out our faiths in the world.

We are "the light of the world." Matthew 5:14

We are to "go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation." Mark 16:15

We as disciples of Christ are to "be brought to complete unity to let the world know" that Jesus loves them. John 17:23

We're not to "conform any longer to the pattern of this world," but to test and approve what God's perfect will is. Romans 12:2

The Bible teaches us to "say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and Godly lives in this present age." Titus 2:11

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

"Friendship with the world is hatred toward God." James 4:4

"Do not love the world or anything in the world." 1 John 2:15

The verses go on and on, and it is very clear to me that God wants me in this world, sharing my story and letting His light shine in and through me. At the same time, He wants me to live a holy, blameless life, set apart for Him. For me, the rub comes while I'm trying to live these Truths out practically. Just when I think I've got a grasp on the balance in the two, something comes along to drive me back to my knees asking.

Living out the "set apart" life starts with confessing I have no idea how to do so. I need the Lord's wisdom, discernment and leading. As I pause and ponder, I also pray and praise, knowing that I'll only have what I need if I ask the Lord to provide it for me.

As I've shared from my gut with the Lord this week, here are some of the questions I've thrown out at him:
How can I be holy & blameless without clinging to legalism?
How can I be a light in this world without some of the darkness absorbing me?
Can I be out among those lost without becoming consumed by self-righteousness and judgment?
When something unfamiliar & scary comes along, will I trust You to help me face it, or will I try to protect myself?
Am I too wealthy, God? Do I need to give up more of my possessions?
How do I reach out to the hurting without their hurts consuming my heart and mind?
Is it okay to relax and have pleasure, or should I use every waking moment to reach others?
What in the world do I do with all this technology, God? What is the balance?

I'm back to the beginning in saying that I have more questions than answers, but I know as I continue to seek the Lord, He will teach me His heart. I'm skeptical of anyone who says they've got it all figured out, because I truly believe that the more we grow in our faith walks, the more questions we have, and the deeper they are.

I also believe this is where grace comes in. So many times, we use grace as our "get out of sin free" card, and it is true that when we repent, His forgiveness is readily available to us. But the deeper part of grace is that when we want to live righteously and falter out of ignorance or immaturity, His grace is there to meet us when we hit our knees asking the whys and hows. I love the way the Message puts it for us in Romans 8:26-28:

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting,

God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along.

If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter.

He does our praying in and for us,

making prayer out of our wordless sighs,

or aching groans.

He knows us far better than we know ourselves,

knows our pregnant condition,

and keeps us present before God.

That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives

of love for God is worked into something good."

It all goes back to the Lord. (Doesn't it always?) I'm so thankful He loves me enough to help me sort through my weaknesses, my wonderings, my wanderings. I praise Him that He takes my desire to please Him and brings it in line with the will of the Father as I surrender to the Holy Spirit. "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4

What are some of the deep wonderings and ponderings in your faith walk?

Flooding A True Community with Prayer

I'm in the middle of a flood right now, one of tears, as I pray for our close family friends, The St. Johns.

And before you exit away, thinking this is just a personal story, please don't. I believe this story has something for everyone to learn.

You see, our friends are in Fargo, North Dakota, as they experience a natural disaster to go down in the record books. As I sit in my comfy writing chair, my very best friend in the whole world is evacuated from her own home. They are waiting for the waters to recede. Waiting to see if they will have a home that is fit to live in when all is said and done.

What has amazed me as I've watched the news reports is that this place is a true community. They haven't just come together all of a sudden in a disaster. They were a strong community before it happened, and I'm certain they'll be even stronger after. Where I live, and in many cities, the church has to force community, even manufacture it to some degree. THESE PEOPLE live community every single day. My heart is moved by it.

Anyone who knows me knows that "God of The City" is my favorite praise song right now, so when my friend forwarded this to me this morning, I knew that God wanted me to share it. The photos are amazing, and the Word at the end got my eyes to raining again. Please take the time to watch it all the way to the end. Notice the community effort despite the incredible discomfort each one must have experienced.

And please, will you join me in prayer after the video? My heart would be greatly blessed if you would.

Fargo Flood Fight 2009

One more thing. My daughter asked me yesterday why God would allow our precious friends to be moved from Dallas and taken into a situation where they would be in harm's way, and I was caught off guard at her anger. The only thing I could think to say in immediate response was, "Sweetie, I've no doubt that the Lord took the St. Johns there for such a time as this. He's going to use them mightily." We stopped to pray, and our hearts were encouraged, even if just for a moment. I pulled up Matthew's blog, and it is obvious that they are doing just that, ministering through the disaster. If you have a moment to go over and leave a comment, I know it would encourage them. It's short and sweet (unlike my post), but precious still.

Pastor Matthew's blog

Father God, I am amazed and in awe at Your greatness. I love the way you can take a people and gel them together so that they can survive this flood. Recede the waters, Lord God. I pray for the people of Fargo and the area all around, that You would protect each and every one. Guard their homes, and continue to guard their hearts from discouragement. I pray for Matthew and Christa, Emily and Katie, and all the staff and families at Bethel Church. Continue to give them everything they need to pull together and help one another during this disaster. Encourage them as they draw upon the strength inside of them, the strength that You provide through the Holy Spirit. May those who don't know Jesus in their community see Jesus in these chosen ones, who are Your salt and light and help for the hurting. Thank You, Lord, that You have these people in the palm of Your capable hands, and may You receive honor and glory through this situation. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Maggie's Letter/The Power of Community

I attended the Christian Book Expo in Dallas last weekend, and one of the speakers was Lee Strobel. He is one of the most engaging, passionate speakers I've ever heard. By the time I finished his breakout, I was ready to go share the gospel with the telephone pole, or anyone who would listen. I have two stories in particular that Mr. Strobel shared which yanked my heart out of my chest. I'm going to share one in this post, and reserve the other for when the Lord leads.

It's about the power of small groups open to reaching seekers with tough questions. In essence, they listen and love 'em into the Kingdom, with the Lord's leading of course. Lee Strobel includes this story in his upcoming book (of which I have an advance copy, (gasp)), The Unexpected Adventure. Maggie's story has been shared in various places on the internet, however, and maybe in another of Mr. Strobel's books as well.

Years ago, a young woman named Maggie began attending the Willow Creek Community Church in suburban Chicago. She was a hurting soul who'd long stopped trusting that the God of the Universe existed, and especially that He loved her. As a child, she'd been deceived by inauthentic Christians. Abused by them, deeply scarred as a result.

But you know God's heart for those grasped in grip of grief. It wasn't long after Maggie joined a small group at the church just to spite Christians that she began to understand the love of God through the hands and feet of Jesus Christ--His church body. She wrote a letter to Pastor Strobel after attending these small groups for awhile, which I believe God intended for all disciples of Jesus to hear:

“Do you know, do you understand?
That you represent Jesus to me?

Do you know, do you understand
That when you treat me with gentleness,
It raises questions in my mind that
maybe HE is gentle too?
Maybe He isn't someone who laughs when I hurt.

Do you know, do you understand
That when you listen to my questions
and you don't laugh, I think,
'What if Jesus is interested in me too'?

Do you know, do you understand
that when I hear you talk about arguments
and conflicts and scars from your past, I think,
'Maybe I am just a regular person,
instead of a bad, no good little girl
who deserves abuse'?

If you care, I think 'maybe He cares—?'
And then there’s this flame of hope
that burns inside of me.
And for awhile, I am afraid to breathe,
because it might go out.

Do you know, do you understand,
that your words are His words?
Your face is His face to someone like me?

Please, be who you say you are,
please, God, don’t let this be another trick.
Please let this be real.
Please!

Do you know, do you understand,
that you represent Jesus to me?"

Not long after sending Lee Strobel this poem, Maggie give her life to Christ. Praise God that the people in her small group understood that they represented Jesus to Maggie.

How does her letter make you feel? 

My first response when I heard Mr. Strobel tell this story was one of extreme regret. I'm sure the person beside me thought I was NUTS. I could hardly breathe, and my face was flooded teardrops of shame. I thought of all the ways that I have failed to represent Jesus to others.

Now that I've had time to pray about it, repent of legitimate convictions and let the Lord speak Truth to me, I still feel the gut-wrenching emotion from Maggie's letter, but my guilt is gone. I am stirred to respond instead.

And the place I'm starting is on my knees.

Lord, help me to know, help me to understand, how to represent You to the Maggie's in my life.
May I treat them with gentleness.
May I be more interested in them than I am about myself.
May I take their questions and doubts seriously.
May I take off the plastic, "I'm perfect" smile, and be authentic to them.
May I show them where I've found, and still find for that matter,
true healing from my scars, bumps and bruises.
May I give them a flame of Hope that won't go out--the One True Hope.
May my Words always reflect You. My face always shine with You.
Help me to be Salt which reaches the bottom of that deep wound,
And Light which shines out pain hidden in some closet of the soul.
Please, God, help me to be who I say I am.
Don't let me be another obstacle.
Please be real in me.
Let Your Holy Spirit, alive in me, revealed through me,
be Jesus to the Maggies in my world.

***Book to come out is called The Unexpected Adventure by Lee Strobel and Mark Mittelberg, Zondervan

Drama Girls, Giggles & A Prop Named Schnitzel

***Posted for Patty Wysong's Fiction Fridays meme. For more great fiction or to post your own fiction piece, click here:


Drama Girls, Giggles & A Prop Named Schnitzel

The drama girls at the church women’s retreat each year were crazy. A talented group of ladies, I must say, but crazy indeed.

I watched them on stage two years ago—seven different actresses. They were FUNNY! Then last year, there were maybe eleven or twelve of them. Each time they entered a room, the shy people scattered, while others seemed to enjoy their uninhibited demeanors.

Much to my surprise, when I showed up at the retreat again this year, most of those crazy girls were still there, performing away, as well as a few newbies. They seemed kind of close, but I wondered if it was just part of their “act.”

Nonetheless, I was curious about them, so while they were on stage rehearsing, I sneaked to their cabin just to take a peek. I had never seen anything so CRAZY in my life!

Covering the walls were photos--them together at each other’s houses and snapshots of their character parts over the years. Layered throughout the pictures were scriptural reminders of serving the Lord and His joy and such. Bold costumes and strange looking props surrounded the space--wild wigs and the most interesting snacks I’d ever seen.

As I brushed on some bumbleberry blue eye shadow out of a heart-shaped container in the bathroom, I heard laughter just outside the door. Not knowing where else to go, I thrust myself behind their whacky shower curtain as swiftly as I could. I had to spy, though, still curious about those crazy drama girls.

It was a blonde---the new one, and that brunette who always played the off-beat Saturday Night Live character. Oh, she’s funny, I thought.

They began to tiptoe around and giggle. What is that scary looking ragged doll in their hands, and where are they putting it? I asked myself. What did she call it? “Sizzle”? It was a creepy clown with a plastic face, like the old-fashioned freak movie ones.

I was mesmerized beyond belief…Had I become the crazy one?

Moments later, the rest of the girls walked in except for the director lady. (She was always running around busy, busy, as if the skits were the most important part of the whole weekend.)

As I squinted to hear, they were in some sort of discussion about marriage and family and stuff. Huh. I’d never seen them so serious before, especially the REALLY crazy one that was always casted as different bizarre characters with fake eyelashes. Three were on the lower bunk sitting criss-cross, and the rest were on the floor surrounding. Their authenticity surprised me for a bunch of stage people.

Wouldn’t you know, the drama director flew through the door and interrupted that beautiful moment with her own tears? All of them questioned her sympathetically as she spilled out all of her stress. It had finally gotten to her. Then they were all crying. One of them offered up a prayer, and by the “Amen,” the tears had turned to giggles again. All was well among the crazy drama girls. The show could go on!

It was most definitely time for me to get out of there, but I was in a pickle. LITERALLY, the shower curtain had a pickle on it. Go figure.

About that time, the director was getting ready for bed while several of the others were in the corner snacking and hem-hawing away. When she pulled back her fluffy corduroy comforter, out flew a shrill scream that I’m certain was heard across the whole camp.

That ugly clown was posed obnoxiously on her pillow, as if crying out “Na-na-na-na-boo-boo!”

“Schnitzel! Who put Schnitzel in my bed?!?” the director lady shrieked with her palms over her chest. The cackling in the corner erupted into an all out fit of hysterics, and it was the perfect time to make my escape.

As I walked all the way back to my own bunker, I thought I could still hear the laughter roaring. Crazy girls. And a creepy clown. NAMED SCHNITZEL!!!! While letting out my own giggle, I couldn’t help but wish I were a part of that team. Their fellowship was not staged at all: It was real….sweet even.

If by some chance I find myself strolling past that outlandish cabin next year, I’ll definitely have to knock. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll find the courage to introduce myself to Schnitzel.

Romans 15:32b
“...so that by God’s will I may come to you with joy and together with you be refreshed.”

***************************************************************************

Okay, I have to admit it. This one was a tribute I wrote to a team of drama girls I directed for several years. We were a close-knit bunch, and we had such great times together. (Each one is a part of my Lifesong). I HAVE to show you a few pics of the gals...and even of Schnitzel. Hope you enjoy them. If not, I'll give a cry and a smile over the memories all to myself.


My friend Pattie & my sister in the front row,
doing a dance to "It's Ladies Night!"


Bets and me...funny emcees?


The Stepford Soldiers at Boot Camp


The brilliant sergeant and her "assistant." Guess which one's really in charge?


The whole gang for 2006 Boot Camp theme
(with my big sis takin' the pics and keepin me calm)


Elaine and me with Schnitzel all dolled up
(Elaine's the one in the story who always wears the crazy eyelashes.)


(Evilla Deville...huh? Wonder who this could be? Hint: eyelashes)


Did somebody call for an angel?


Pretty in Pink Woman, Material Girl & Spice Girl
Looking for Happiness behind door #1, #2 or #3?


Ahhhh, time to chill and be for real...


Tickled Pink to serve the Lord...


Sheri, magnificent retreat coordinator who enlisted me as the drama director in the middle of Wal-mart. Who woulda thunk it?

In the Key of HE,

Bubble Break-through

I laid my dvd choices on the counter and noticed that the worker behind it would not look me in the eye.

“How is your day going, Victoria?” I asked. She looked up at me with a surprised expression. “You know, you’re the first customer I can remember ever saying my name, and I’ve worked here for over 10 years.”

Now I was the surprised one. “But your nametag’s right there, and it is such a beautiful name,” I reassured her. “I think people just get distracted when they’re paying for things.”

She said that she thought most people just live in a bubble and don’t want to bother.

Victoria went on to thank me for taking the time just the same, and then she began to share that she hardly ever hears her name spoken out loud anymore since her husband had passed away several years before. She used to love the way he would say her name, she told me with a far away look in her eyes. She doesn’t go to church anymore because she just can’t stand her “love” not being right beside her. But she’s thankful she has the Lord by her side every single day to keep her company.

I get weepy when I think about that conversation with the precious lady at my local video store. Filled with loneliness, she was comforted by someone taking the time to notice her as a person instead of just someone behind the counter.

Whenever these moments in life happen, it causes me to examine my own existence. Hours and hours of my time are spent doing ministry, writing, taking care of my family, enjoying relationships with my friends, but I can’t help but think that maybe Victoria is right: I live in a bubble. Does that mean my time is wasted? Does that mean that I’m not pleasing the Lord with the things I’m doing? All “nos” on these questions. God is in the work of my hands, I’m sure of it! So why does it feel like I’m missing something important?

It’s because I have been. Bottom line: It has nothing to do with my time. It has everything to do with my heart. I’ve begun to ask the Lord to give me care and concern for strangers, for those that are placed in my day. For those that are in the houses next door. For all kinds of human beings that have gone unnoticed in my path. On top of it, I’ve asked Him to give me the energy and the passion to intentionally act on the desire, which is a whole separate ordeal to sort through on another day.

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful…Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”
Colossians 4: 2, 5-6

Just like Jesus did, I must pray for the strength to build into others God puts in my path. I can’t do it on my own—at least not genuinely or for long. The Holy Spirit has more than enough wind to breakthrough any bubbles I’ve blown up around myself, and I pray He will do so today.

The One who calls me is faithful, and HE will do it. 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (my paraphrase)

Supernatural Acts of Kindness

***Posted for Patty Wysong's Fiction Fridays. For more great fiction, click here: http://pattywysong.blogspot.com


To: Elaine__emeyer@friendmail.net

Subject: I’m DESPERATE!

On 4/16/07 10:55 AM, Jennifer Miller wrote:

Lainey,

I’m sorry I haven’t called you back, but I don’t think I could talk if I wanted to. I’m really strung out taking care of grandmom right now. I’m so afraid she’s going to fall that I can’t even sleep. Sheer exhaustion.

The medicare office said they’d send someone over for TWO lousy hours a week, Lainey! How am I supposed to do all this and manage the kids, too?

I know this stress will pass, but PLEASE pray for me. I could use a supernatural touch.

Love,
Jenny
____________________________________________________

After pushing the send button, I fell to my knees in prayer. Lainey will pray, Lord. But I feel like I’m beyond help. I know You’re there, but I beg you to let me feel You in a real way.

I spent the next few minutes pouring out my weary soul to the only One that could fully understand. A deep thump and a clank sounded. I knew that Grandmom had fallen and hit the side of the bed’s metal frame.

“MOM!” my nine-year-old screamed from the bottom of the stairs, “Grandmammy fell again!”

“I’m coming!” I yelled as I flew down the stairs.

When I got to her room, Grandmom was trying to pull herself up using the iron post of the bed. I stood over her and carefully grabbed her arms. “Here, let me help, ok?”

She smiled, and her eyes twinkled a "thank you," though they had that far away look in them again. “Okay,” she feebly responded.

While straining to get her back in bed, I gently scolded her: “Grandmom, you’ve GOT to stay in bed unless I help you, ok? It’s not safe for you to do it by yourself. Please use the bell to call for me, alright?”

It was only moments later that she was asleep again. Thank goodness. I tiptoed out of the room. My little ones were anxiously waiting outside the door.

“Mom, is Grandmammy ok?”

“Did she fall?”

“Yes, but she’s all right now,” I reassured them tenderly.

“Mom, Mrs. Jones called. She said that she wanted to bring you over some dinner tonight,” my daughter reported.

My youngest chimed in, “Yea, lasagna—YUCK!”

Oh, Lord, please give me patience!

The phone rang, and I saw it was my mentor at church. I can’t face her right now, I thought. Yet as the answering machine picked up, I heard her lift up a prayer on my behalf. It moved me.

The doorbell interrupted her prayer message, and the dog began barking at the door. What now? Impatience built with each disruption.

“Stop barking, Sally!” I snapped.

I opened the door to find my dear friend Laurie standing there. “I’d like for them to come and do homework with us for awhile, if that’s okay?”

My kids began to pull and beg at me.

“I don’t know what to say, Laurie," I spoke as the tears welled up in my eyes. "Um, sure...sure they can go. Thanks.”

She gave me a big hug and a knowing look. “Oh, and here’s your mail.”

I waved as she drove away with the kids in the back of her Suburban, and I collapsed into the first chair I could find. A feeling of thankfulness overwhelmed me. Thank you for the break, God.

As I remembered the pile of mail in hand, a card from my Bible Study group was on top. I hadn’t been able to go for several weeks, and it had just added to my sorry state of mind. When I flipped open the card, all of them had written a personal note, but it was the scripture in the center that grabbed me:

“You hear, O LORD, the desire of the afflicted;
You encourage them and listen to their cry.”
Psalm 10:17


Oh, Father—You heard my cry…

It was as if God had reached down and caught my fallen spirit through the words and actions of the Christian friends He had provided for me. Refreshed and renewed, I went back to Grandmom’s room to show her the mail that had come for her: Two cards from her dear church friends, and a note from the Pastor. I was glad to find her awake.

We both cried together and spent some time by the side of the bed, thanking God for His supernatural acts of kindness.



***********inspired by my own life experiences***********