Yoo-Hoo! Calling all weaklings on the journey...

A couple of years ago, I began a journey through the Bible. I did so with the help of my church's online web ministry. It gave me a structured, convenient and efficient way for me to read a passage of Scripture, hear an application or testimony regarding it from a person each day, and then answer the tough questions for myself.

This year, I am privileged enough to be an author of one of the devotions, and it is featured today. If you consider yourself a weakling or are a big fan of Gideon, you might want to click:

http://view.exacttarget.com/?j=fe6515727364067a7110&m=fef21775716c0d&ls=fded1576726d017973157977&l=fe9615707161007a71&s=fe25167072660375741279&ju=fe2f157070660478721c74

Even more so, consider joining the journey to add some structure to your Bible reading routine. The devos are written by people at all walks of life and all different spiritual levels of maturity. So come on in and join if you dare. The Journey will start from your email inbox each day and continue with some questions to keep you going for quite some time.

LOL! ROFL! Smiley faces...:)...LLPF!!!!

Okay, be honest, how many times do you type the text "LOL" to show that something is funny? And every time you type that, are you really LOLing? Beeeeee honest now. I'm talkin to me-self too. Are we really just Liars On Line? (Liars-liars-pants-on-fire On Line) LOLOLOL!!!!!

Don't even get me started on ROFLing. If I were to ROFL every time I typed it, they'd have to put me on a stretcher and hospitalize me. Plus it's kind of a weird thought picturing everyone who types that stepping away from their computer and falling down on the floor to laugh. It's more like, Rattling Off Facetious Lingo. ROFL!!!!!

And I would be tragically amiss if I forgot to mention Mr. Smiley. I think he started the whole thing anyway...you know kind of like Adam did? (Oh, and Eve too...winka) I have to ask: why do so many of us have deeply embedded frown wrinkles if the emoticons show their frowns upside down in their emails. I think maybe we're smiling on the inside. Yah, that's it!
Ahhhhhhhhh, a clean conscience. I feel so much better now. :)

We all are sorta justified though. When it comes to stuff as the cyber world turns, the rules are different than reality. The words are flat. Even as I look down at what I'm typing, these words...BORRRRRRING. ***snore*** So in order to bring the words to life, we add the text lingo and the images. Example:

I'm glad you liked my new dress. It was pretty before you spit your iced coffee on me when you were laughing like a mad woman. Ya KLUTZ!

I'm glad you liked my new dress. :) It was pretty before you spit your iced coffee on me when you were laughing like a mad woman. LOL! Ya KLUTZ! ROFL!!!! :)

Big diff, eh? The first one, depending on my mood, would've led me to believe the friendship had been tossed into cyber space, only to return no more. The second one would make me want to spew my iced coffee all over again in laughter.


You know, it kind of reminds me of the Word of God a little bit. Sometimes we think we have to "add to it" to make it more exciting to others, or ourselves for that matter. God has a little something to say on that:

"Every word of God is flawless...Do not add to His words, or He will rebuke you and prove you a liar."Proverbs 30:5a,6

There's that Liar, Liar, Pants on fire again. (LLPF) Saints, we do not need to spice up His Word. Why? Because it is already living. "For the Word of God is living and active." (Hebrews 4:12a) It's not just living, it is active. And to take it a step further, take 1 John 2:14b to heart: "I write to you, young men, because you are strong, and the Word of God lives in you..." Wowzer.

WE can make our methods for teaching, preaching, writing and singing fun, hip, relevant, ever-changing and contemporary, but we must nevah-evah compromise the Truth of His Word in the process. No LLPF when it comes to my Saviour. Nope. But thank goodness, I can still add a little flavor to the flat words of my typewriter to help bring them to life.

Sooooooooo, FF2LF, ok? I'm going to DARFC, so CUL8r. G2GLYS!

FF2LF (Feel Free 2 Leave Feedback)
DARFC (Duck and Run For Cover)
CUL8r (C U Later)
G2GLYS (Got 2 Go, Love You So)

Parting Ways

***Posted for Patty Wysong's Fiction Fridays. For more great fiction, click here: http://pattywysong.blogspot.com

Pastor Jim looked down at his Dockers to make sure they were zipped, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw that they were. Why is the entire back row laughing? He had just reminded the congregation about the revival next week, and he knew that wasn’t funny.

One chuckle after another began to spread throughout the pews. Did I put the wrong shoes on? “Tonight we’ll have a potluck following the”—Is that Ruth Stanley snickering? Now I KNOW something is wrong—“a scrumptious potluck following the service.”

As the nervous young pastor continued the announcements, he mentally reviewed his mentors' warnings of common embarrassing situations in ministry. No ink stain on my shirt…maybe my hair is sticking up. While delivering the attendance numbers, he combed his fingers through his hair.

By now, the entire back half of the room was whispering among themselves. I’ve GOT to keep going. Something must have happened in the back. Focus, Jim.

He took a deep breath and persisted. “Now I’d like to ask some of our long time members, Steve and Judy Patterson, and their beautiful daughter Hannah, to come and join me at the pulpit.”

The family came forward reluctantly. Darling nine-year-old Hannah covered her mouth with her hand, probably to hold in her giggles. Her little cheeks were as red as the roses on her dress. Steve Patterson looked terribly grim, while Judy had her head down. They’re acting weird, too…

Pastor Jim wrapped his arms around them as they turned toward the congregation. “Everyone knows this precious family, the Pattersons. They’ve been on the front lines of this church for many years—long before I came into the picture. Only God knows why Steve’s job is taking them away from us. We’ll miss ‘em dearly.”

Oh, good, everyone has stopped laughing, but nobody’s looking at the Pattersons either. What on earth is going on?

Clearing his throat, the pastor bravely carried on, though his voice began to squeak every third word or so. “If you’ll notice in your bulletin that Ruth Stinkelman has coordinated a Parting Party for the Pattersons. Thank you, Ms. Stinkelman.”

Now where did Ruth go? I just saw her before the service.

The cackles began again, but this time it was mainly the younger folks. Most of the adults were hiding behind their church bulletins. Steve Patterson gave the pastor a darted, angry look. Mrs. Patterson proceeded to hang her head, but little Hannah’s shoulders were giggling up and down.

The young pastor’s frustration finally came to a head. “Could somebody please tell me what is so funny?” He was visibly distraught.

Suddenly, a paper airplane landed smack into his forehead and crashed onto the floor next to him. “What in the blooming world?” the pastor snapped.

Steve Patterson picked up the makeshift jet, aka Second Baptist Church’s bulletin, unwrinkled the wings and sternly pointed to the ink circle on the announcement page in front of him. Little Hannah’s laughter could no longer contain itself, and her mother’s head, hanging moments before in embarrassment, began to bobble a little bit, too. Steve’s glare burned a hole in the side of the pastor’s face.

In a matter of milli-seconds, Pastor Jim’s face flushed several shades of red. He began to read from the bulletin: “Ms. Ruth Stinkelman has offered to host a—a—Parting Party…”

His eyes were wide open while glaring at his mistake, and the only sound he could hear was the thumping of his heart as it raced out of his chest. He couldn’t believe he had inadvertently replaced the ‘P’ in ‘Parting’ with a big, fat, ugly ‘F.’

The silence in the room haunted Pastor Jim, but he knew he must somehow break it. I just want to crawl in a hole and die. “I’m—I’m so terribly sorry…I…”

Little Hannah stepped forward to comfort him in total sincerity. “Oh, don’t worry, Pastor Jim, I’m sure doing the bulletin is a great big STINKY job.”

Hannah’s dad released a snort and a wheezing chuckle. Pastor Jim was stunned to see the whole congregation cracking up, including Ruth Stinkelman, who was fanning herself with her bulletin.

Looking down at the typo again, he shook his head back and forth. I’m probably never going to live this down, but…if I can’t beat ‘em, I may as well join ‘em. A big grin lined the Pastor’s face as he finally accepted the humor in it all.

Then the Pattersons gave him a Parting hug—‘Parting,’ with a capital ‘P.’

Got Guilt?

Sometimes it's a song that breaks through a stronghold.

For years, I had been given over to a guilt complex. Not for any one thing. Just for all kinds of things. I would take responsibility for situations that were not even mine to take on. I would ask for forgiveness for something, yet eat my guilt away in Hostess products. I prayed for it to go away, but I could not overcome it.

Then our worship pastor introduced this song. My eyelashes got a bath, as well as my whole face as I stood in awe over the lyrics and the melody. It was positively anointed. It reached through and healed my stronghold. Snap. Just like that. I wish I had a video of my church choir and vocalists singing it, but unfortunately, I didn't bring my camera for the souvenir moment. Aha, but I don't feel guilty. Instead, I go to God. Tube, that is. I found this video on GodTube, and it is powerful as well. Enjoy the powerful lyrics, and if you are a visual worshiper, the film clips as well:

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus,
by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain,
that is, His body, and since we have a great priest
over the house of God,
let us draw near to God with a sincere heart
in full assurance of faith,
having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us
from a guilty conscience
and having our bodies washed with pure water.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for He who promised is faithful.
Hebrews 10:19-23 (NIV)

No more guilt. Not me. When I fail, I go to the One who forgives and gives me help to turn from my sin. I will not bask on the waters of self-righteous, self-pitying guilt. I’ll put my trust in His powerful, loving salvation instead.